Online hookups even after falling in to love
I am in a relationship for 3yrs. I do not use any gay website or app for online hookup or even for browsing. He also stopped using it a year before but now I came to know he actually still uses them.
When I asked him he said it's just for time pass and to see the response for his pic. I argued but he says it's all common in this life. We can accept *** from others of our interest but love remains to you only. I am confused about this. I can see him spending time on gay apps more than any other social app.
Is this ok when you are in a relationship? How is it supposed to work? What are your thoughts and experiences about such situations.
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Hamresh | Posted On Dec 24, 2018
He is just living with you, he might move out, if he finds anytime more attractive than you. You have to change yourself, be like him, explore everything. |
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Deepsukcer | Posted On Dec 24, 2018
If you look at cinema stars they will hookup with anybody and the love remains to their respective spouse or partners. Like wise he is doing it. It's nothing to worry. Coz he is not gonna be emotional with anyone right chill out |
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LOTUS143 | Posted On Dec 24, 2018
World is changing and even people are,,
*** AND LOVE ARE TWO SEPARATE THINGS , AND ITS NOT NECESSARY TO HAVE *** ONLY WITH PEOPLE WHOM YOU LOVE OR LOVE SOME WHOM YOU HAVE *** , SO DONT THINK MUCH AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE AS YOU WANT TO |
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Voyeur30 | Posted On Dec 24, 2018
@Deepsucker...thanks you are exactly saying the same words he used to say me...
@Lotus143...You are right..we need to realise how are they using of the two things you mentioned...thanks |
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Valentine84 | Posted On Dec 27, 2018
Dude 'INFEDILITY' is something hard to digest in true love. I understand that. But a 'fling' is different from love. Next comes the question of the frequency of this fling. That's something u should talk about to ur partner. Check if he is honest with his answer.
Next comes the frequency of this fling. Yes definitely, the frequency has a major role here. If it's just a fling or a philandering nature of ur partner could be the deal maker or breaker. Though my reference is to a cinema 'Mr and Mrs Iyer', I am quoting this movie because it's a pragmatic take on a conservative married women falling for a guy in a situational romance. Things like that could happen in anyone's life but a fling is different from philandering intentionally. Next comes the openness.. Yes though a open relationship is something I couldn't tolerate personally, on a third point view I would agree it given the honesty of the spouse.
To sum up, it's actually a gamble between three factors
* The nature of the hook up (say the fling)
* The frequency of the fling
* The openness or rather the honesty of the relationship.
As I said it's a true gamble between all these three factors, though love could blind you, think in all these three perspectives and take a wise decision. I know it's a easy to advice but I shared you my true experience. I am a guy who had gay curiosity ever since my mid teens but never ventured *** until I was 26. Thankfully I fell in love with a girl though never gathered guts to propose her but that love never materialised though I was able to avoid gay thoughts when I was in love with this girl for 2.5 years. When she went away from life I just ventured into gay *** just for the diversion but fate had me fell in love with a guy. But it didn't last either cos, a younger person like me the was an easy prey for a lustful uncle. Disappointment after disappointment, neither was I happy with the multiple partners I met in this gay life nor I was finding a genuine partner and so I I decided to get married to girl of my parents choice.
That's what my life is now. I just opened up about my personal story, since I didn't want to post on this thread for the sake of being preachy but share my true thoughts on a common problem every other gay man faces.
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bromance16 | Posted On Dec 27, 2018
Valentine, That's an awesome comment! My life had similar experience as urs. BTW, Mr. & Mrs.Iyer is a nice example. |
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Aaseelan | Posted On Apr 8, 2019
Don't panic, all I can see from your post is that you're afraid of loosing him.
take your time, don't be afraid, and more over Don't let these unnecessary thoughts ruin your relationship.
and btw, as it's been 4 months since you posted this, can you give us an update on how it's going ? |
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Voyeur30 | Posted On Jun 16, 2019
@Valentine..thanks for the advice...And @Aaseelan..I was afraid only...
I have stopped watching him on this...I set my mind like if he loves me he will treat me good and if not ..he is going to be unlucky...that's it..so no more dramas in this...
Note - He said he is not using Grindr..and am believing it |
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pooloombi | Posted On Aug 27, 2022
Its a curse for our Gay community ðŸ˜
Typing this with wet eyes! |
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