Even though section 377 has been repealed, the non-acceptance of homosexuality by society means gay guys are still vulnerable and easy targets for blackmail, fraud, harassment and cheating.
Post your experiences here and steps that can be taken to protect ourselves and also what to do if one does fall in the trap of a cheater or blackmailer.
|Displaying 1 to 33 of 33 comments.|
|Posted On Jun 9, 2019 - 06:08 AM|
I faced horrible exp 3 days before..one guy called me to his place..I met him in grinder..after entering his home..without starting anything suddenly 2 guys came and said they are police and locked me...they grabbed my mobile ATM card cash....and blickmailed me that they will inform that am gay to my wife....after 10 mints only I realised they are not real police and the guy who called me for fun also fraud...I did not how to react that time..even I have school friend who is working in police but how to intimate this to him .this society is unsafe for gays and bisexuals...now only I feel why I am being gay r bi...if any bad situation happens like me where to complaint? How to handle this kind of situation?...I lost my huge money...still li have fear whether that guy will call me again and will misuse my pic r contacts....i did not sleep that nite..just shared with 2 of my close bi friends...please we have to support each other...and should be very careful in meeting unknown persons and outdoor fun r massage parlours...please share your views what to do if we face this situation?
|Posted On Jun 9, 2019 - 06:25 AM|
Sorry to hear about your bad experience @Ramvino. I am just going to reiterate that please don't jump immediately immediately after you get/find a person online. Take time to see how he reacts and then proceed. Meet a person in a public place first to know him, you would be safe incase anything goes wrong. Having said so, there is always a possibility of such situation arising, so be calm and don't panic. Don't show fear and you should have asked them to come to PS along with you. They would have run for their life. You were not caught in any sexual act or in public place and as per rule you cannot be arrested or remanded without any charges
People prey upon the community because we start to panick and show our weakness immediately by giving money and stuff. You should complain against these guys for threat and for fear of life and liberty. Just be brave and incase if they call you please inform the police. There is a lawyer about whom someone mentioned in this forum (not sure of his name, members would suggest if they have his contact). Take his help. As I always say, please be very very careful about whom you meet.Its fine to take time before you know that person for his genuinity. Be safe and play safe!
|Posted On Jun 9, 2019 - 06:31 AM|
Also if you can please share the details of the guy whom you met on that hookup portal so that others can be cautious of that fella. Spread the word about him so others will not fall prey to such a**h***s
|Posted On Jun 9, 2019 - 07:43 AM|
i dont think hooking up men for *** is punishable either. didnot recently suprem court revoked gay prohibitions?
|Posted On Jun 9, 2019 - 08:08 AM|
Last year Jan I faced similar kind of situation... I chatted with a guy in grinder and we thought of meeting in the evening at my house... After cmng into my house he removed all his clothes and blackmailed me to give money or else he will go nude in my balcony and gate and create drama that I booked him for escort service... He called two of his friend who r dressed in Ladies dresses and they came nearby my house and started crying on Road that I booked their son for escort and beaten their son...after I requested them to be silent they came inside started demanding 3 Lakshman and at last they took my two gold rings, wallet, shoes, watch, trimmer, coin box and left.... They took my phone and deleted their chat history,nunbers and blocked their ID in grinder... Be cautious guys
|Posted On Jun 9, 2019 - 10:10 AM|
Vino. Sorry for you. Look how easily they have indulged. Making use of our weakness.
I know it's difficult but still we shouldn panic n boldly ask them to come to police station. Definitely s con wouldn't.
Moreover you said you went to his place. Where is that place. Expose it here.. It's definitely easy to catch those guys.
Unless we teach them a lesson they would only get courageous to do such things again .. We cant be easy targets. . Our gay life would go for a toss.
|Posted On Jun 9, 2019 - 10:14 AM|
Vino you said it's his home. Right.
How much audacity he should have to do it in his place. He should have gauged that. Come what may. . These guys wouldn't complain .... N that's what would have encouraged him. .
Expose his place. . Atleast I will try to teach him a lesson using my resources
|Posted On Jun 9, 2019 - 11:02 AM|
@sanjay218, I know a guy near porur, who was blackmailed exactly like yours. This happened almost a year ago. I guess it's the same gang.
|Posted On Jun 9, 2019 - 11:19 AM|
Guys, kindly do not hesitate to approach police in case you are under threat for huge money....
Reading posts like you lost huge money and other guy gave up almost all his personal belongings like ring, wallet etc are very much scary. Those buggers don't deserve our hard earned money, rather, they deserve to be punished.
kindly approach police and bring it to limelight.
|Posted On Jun 9, 2019 - 01:38 PM|
@rogertoni22 yes. i guess if we know the plce.. the same way they tricked him....we all can wait outside and nab all of them if possible.. and if anyonw knws police frind. then its gr8 help.. and all those money looted can be returned
|Posted On Jun 9, 2019 - 02:57 PM|
This is the modus operandi and atleast 1 guy in such groups will hv police connection or friends bcs of which they do this to extract money...if you are inviting someone to ur place..do not do it the first time itself...spend few chats and possible meet outside before inviting....
If u r going to some strangers place..always better to not go withvaluables or atm card...
Such bastards first try to cook some story that they are police...investigating some crime related to men to men stuff and then moment we show that we are afraif...they go little harsh on us so that we break down...they film that as confession and use that to milk money....all these happens with generous amount of advice on why we do these stuffs when god has given good family bla bla bla...
They also grab our mobile and make sure they get some contacts that they can use it for 1 or 2 more payments...
|Posted On Jun 9, 2019 - 03:45 PM|
My incident happened in Pondicherry
|Posted On Jun 9, 2019 - 03:58 PM|
Bastards. . Yes. As someone said. Despite looting. . They advice is it....
|Posted On Jun 10, 2019 - 02:15 AM|
If any one knows good police gay r bi friends...share it but not for fun...atleast to save our community from this threats..but the police guy should be trustable and should secretly manage our case...I called my police friend And informed him that I was block mailed..but did not say this situation fully...I told him if anything happen serious I will inform him..if they make call to me again r doing any bad things again I don't mind to inform this full real situation to him...now I have little hesitation ..let's see what happens.....I called one of my other bi friend.. even I have not met him yet..but he told that I need any money help that he can transfer...as well as he is ready to come with me if the guy is again block mail me...I felt really proud that there are lot of good people also there in this community...I pray for all that no one should face troubles...
|Posted On Jun 10, 2019 - 02:22 AM|
Please be careful full in meeting people grinder and pr...first instance itself don't call him to your place r don't go to his place...Extra safety should be taken while meeting young people below 25 r 28...when I realised that they are not police...tell to him that you are ready to go to station with them.. surely they won't take you to station.......extra care should be taken while visiting outdoor *** r parlours.....first of all don't show the fear to them....don't carry mobile ATM cards jewels...just go with small amount ....this all lessons I learnt from this incident......
|Posted On Jun 10, 2019 - 02:52 PM|
@Ramvino my hear goes to you after reading your incident. But be assured, you are not alone. Just do a quick search in this same community and you would find at least treads on same line. Almost 80-90% of gays face this situation at least once during their life time. Of course depending upon the incident the magnitude of damage might vary. We can't or rather should not blame the Govt or society for this. Rather we should just blame ourselves of this pathetic situation. The govt has done maximum by removing 377. Coming to society unless we change it can't change since we are part of society. First and foremost apart from *** we should start looking in far good like minded people in our city with same orientation for decent friendship. Next is to build self support anonymous groups and have a meet (not *** meet) just a regular meet at least once a month in a public place like beach park etc. Even 10 people is more than enough. Dont think this is next to impossible. Lot of such self supportive g groups exists in other metros like Bangalore, Hyderabad, Pune and Bombay. Leading lawers and police men are discretely part of it. So when somebody is in trouble the troupe is ready to help him. Unfortunately such groups doesn't exist in Chennai due to its thick conservative blanket. The advantage of having such groups is when in need we can immediately tell we are going to call our friends for help. The moment the blackmailer knows a third person is going to be involved he would retract immediately. Believe me at least in early 2000 such groups were active even in Chennai in the name of HIV NGOs. They regularly used to meet at thiruvanmiyur, besant nagar etc. However with time the TGs out numbered Gs/BIs and people stopped going to those group meetings to avoid unnecessary eyebrow lifts. Now TGs have very strong organization for themselves and they don't permit Gs or BIs to be part of it. Unfortunately Gs and BIs dont have an organization for themselves. Leave alone organization even self supportive groups dont exists. Regarding what can be done immediately. Talk to persons at Sagotharan, the first and foremost NGO for Gs. They have a consultant advocate who is G and very friendly. I dont want to disclose his name here. He is specialized in taking up these cases and is well networked with police. He would help you to get back those things in an anonymous way. Believe me once a G friend of mine faced a very similar situation at thiruvanmiyur bus depo. I searched the net and got his no. He helped him retrieve his belongings and my friends anonymity was also maintained.
|Posted On Jun 11, 2019 - 09:31 AM|
In my case I was not cheated or blackmailed by anyone I trusted but was robbed in a crusing place once. This happened around 1.5 to 2 years back in Krishnaveni theatre. I went to the toilet in the middle of the movie and there were 2 guys. Once I started hugging one of the guys he slipped hands into my pocket and took my phone and tried to take other things as well. The other guy was his friend. Somehow I fought them and came out of the toilet with my t shirt collar tored apart. I shouted once I came out and these guys jumped over the wall to the outside of theatre. But there was a bus travel office and people there saw these 2 guys jumping over the wall and caught one of the guys. The one with my mobile managed to escape.They brought the other guy to the theatre and I told them about the robbery. The theatre authorities locked us both in a room and handed over to the police. Police took us to the T Nagar police station nearby. they beat that guy with a latti severely and he told that he did not know the other guy well. When the police enquired me I had to lie that I came to T Nagar for a work and after work completed it was boring so went to the theatre for watching movie and I had no idea that this theatre is a crusing place like this. They believed me and had me written a complaint. After coming out of the station I bought a t shirt for 100 rupees in the platform shop as the one I was wearing was completely got tored. I called the station after some days regarding my phone but no update and I didn't enquire after that.
|Posted On Jun 11, 2019 - 09:40 AM|
In continuation to my previous post.. To my surprise this incident didn't affect me severely and I started visiting other cruising places the next week itself. But I am very cautious now and while going to these places I am not carrying my wallet or mobile. I don't even wear my watch. And if it the place is near I go by bus rather than using my own transport. But because of this I got myself caught in a comic situation. I went to tambaram station for cruising and when I was about to leave the platform I was caught by railway authorities asking for platform ticket. Though I know about the platform ticket I have not taken or seen anyone taking that ticket all these years in Chennai. Since I didnt carry anything with me I didn't have an ID to show them. But that person somehow believed me and took my phone number and gave time to go to my place and get the money. Though the thought of cheating them crossed my mind I returned with the money 300 rs and paid the fine and left the station
|Posted On Jun 11, 2019 - 09:47 AM|
In continuation to my previous post.. I knew deep in my mind that I am visiting these cruising places also with a purpose of getting any chance to see that guy again and teach him a lesson.
|Posted On Jun 11, 2019 - 05:59 PM|
@Rajeshkp - Thanks for sharing this. This something very serious to look after. Rather than the crime, think about the mentality of the guy. He must be severely damaged.
I will chart down couple of things for healthy commitments when we meet a stranger or new person,
1. Don't share pics, you can meet in common place and decide to approve/reject
2. Have good connect first. People here are studying, working and are common people. Don't lock your mind with *** driven thoughts always.
3. Continuos *** with Max 2 is always good rather than doing with bunch of strangers. Here threesome also works well. Don't go beyond that. Even this is too much but just to give a polite number. Make sure all are in sync and understanding.
4. Don't cruise too much outside and do open ***. Eventually these places are not meant to have *** without knowing anyone around.
5. Take a short friendly trip and enjoy the time and discussions. Book a room outside. Have good and hot fun and come back.
Always be cautious and careful. Please please don't rush. Have friendship and good connect first.
|Posted On Jun 13, 2019 - 01:01 AM|
I never visit cruising places with valuables. M brought up in Delhi and had many fun experiences in public places behind the bushes but only in Chennai I hear such incidents. Small incidents took places there too but not any big one like what I am seeing now.
|Posted On Jun 13, 2019 - 05:57 AM|
Gone are days when we could cruise without fear. Now when people come to know of a cruising spot it gets spoilt by blackmailers. Not being negative but reality. Have been through 2-3 incidents. But escaped. In Nagpur, Mumbai and Aurnagabad.
Now I cruise very very little and when I go I don't carry much money. Play safe.
|Posted On Jun 14, 2019 - 11:13 AM|
I experienced one in Hyderabad. I visited one cruising point at yousufguda which has only bushes n people come there to pee. I got this info from this site.. it was around 9.30 I just walked into the bushes. On good looking guy in his early 20s was standing next to me and was flashing his *ick gave me a sign to walk inside.. i walked behind him and he suddenly stopped inside where 2 other guys in their 30s were sitting in a position as if they were shitting ( pretending doing potty ) they didn't even open their pants .. no sooner i went inside, he acted as if he is going to romance with me and took my *** out, the other 2 guys who were sitting there trapped me immediately and tore my shirt, took some hundreds which were in my pocket , beat me up and flew.. i was so helpless that i just ran from there with scratches on his hands, and face.. I immediately Hired a auto and went home :(.
I was lucky enuf that I didn't carry my phone or valet because I know such places are risky...
So guys before you can approach any strangers please please please be very very careful
|Posted On Jun 15, 2019 - 09:07 AM|
Very unfortunate - those who lost their money and valuables. More than how much money lost , it is betrayal and not able to stand out to those fraud matters most. It is all hard earned money that has been looted. Still we would cruise and meet strangers , that's the power of lust. This happens everywhere , not just here. We read many snatch incidents .. that happened to our family as well. At least we can share these snatch, theft incidents among
our family , friends. But how do we overcome from these frauds .. we never knw .. All precautions stated in earlier posts is not new to us . We knew all these , but still we cruise , get cheated and cruise again... I personally feel we need to have more courage to handle these situation tactically.. of course act according to moment is not handy for everyone .
|Posted On Jul 25, 2019 - 09:05 PM|
@ sasmathu "The govt has done maximum by removing 377."
Ha ha, no, it wasn't "the government", it was the Supreme Court, IN SPITE of the government's politics and wishes !!!
|Posted On Jul 25, 2019 - 09:08 PM|
You went to the guy"s place, and you didn"t go to the Police afterwards, with all the elements to describe what happened ?
I tell you, you should ALWAYS report these things, as the crooks will only get caught by the repetition of their acts. And what happened to you probably happened to many other people before you. It's useless to track them on Grindr as they change their profiles every time.
|Posted On Sep 5, 2019 - 12:41 AM|
it just happened thts all i posted the id of tht person and its been deleted , is it wrong to trust people and go ?
Admin Note: The ID was deleted as naming and shaming is not allowed on this website. We do not have any way of verifying the information posted by you or any other user. If tomorrow someone posts your ID as cheater/fraud or blackmailer, should I allow that post to be kept up? We have allowed this thread and as Admin I have myself posted on lots of threads like these with precaution notes for safety and security of the members here. Trusting strangers blindly is a sure fire recipe for disaster. We strongly recommend everyone to take due precautions and do their due diligence when they are meeting strangers. Letting your hormones overcome you never ends well. Many cheaters/blackmailers use fear tactics to force people to part with their valuables or take advantage. Do read up on all the safety measures one can take. It is not very difficult to keep oneself safe with some basic precautions
|Posted On Oct 7, 2019 - 11:09 AM|
Hi, one of my friend was cheated by a person who was on grinder. He invited him to hotel where he stay for the day. As soon as he reached starred removing his cloths and started behaving like tg and demanding money. Suddenly he took his gold chain and started demanding saying that he will go out as nude and make noise. My friend got afraid and he took the money from ATM. After getting the amount he ran away from that place without giving back his gold.
Is there any way to get this incident to take it forward before that person started cheating someone.
|Posted On Oct 10, 2019 - 05:55 AM|
Very bad experience at Koyambedu. I was peeing in the toilet next to the police station. One guy came and stood next to me. He was dark chap, lean and hair he colored red. He unzipped and started shaking his tool. I also got turned on and stood there even after finishing my work. He went into the toilet and kept the door open. I was tempted to go in and after few moments I went in. I did not feel right and wanted to go out and he did not allow me to go out. He locked the door. He jerked my *** and he started asking for money. I gave everything in my pocket and I even showed him my wallet but he was not letting me go. I told him I will go to ATM and withdraw the money. We reached the SBI atm opposite to the bus stand and I withdrew some cash. All this way he was on the phone with some one like his handler. By the time I came out of ATM there was another guy outside the ATM with him. I tried to reason out the payment but he took all the money in my hand and left. There is gang of these people who are systemically exploiting and cheating us. I hope some day we can hope to live like normal people and not get extorted by these organized gangs.
|Posted On Oct 10, 2019 - 07:33 AM|
Buddy patchennai. Yes there is a gang in koyambed which is led by an ugly old man who instruct guys to do this. After extorting money from you they will share it amongst themselves. They in fact have small knife to threaten u. Never get inside the toilet cubes.. Or exercise caution.
|Posted On Oct 21, 2019 - 06:37 PM|
I was at my friend's home once as his family had gone out and i was alone I planned to get in touch with a dude through Grindr he came to my place I didn't like him much coz he was not the same guy in the pic. So didn't have fun much. Just nude n touched *** after that. I asked him to leave as I didn't like him. He then threatened me to give 40k else he would scream i got frightened as it was a gated community and families live around then he called his friend and both threatened me and looted 15k from me and stole my friend's gadgets n left the place.
|Posted On Oct 22, 2019 - 01:00 PM|
Just yesterday my friend told me this incident. His friend (lets call him F) lives as a PG. In the morning since his room was empty he invited someone after a long chat and a phone call. The guy who turned up was verry different from the pic the PR profile. But since this guy (lets call him P) insisted both had fun. After fun P started showing him guys pics and started saying he knows lots of young guys in that area who are paid. F said he is not interested in paid guys. Immediately P started creating a ruckus saying even he is a paid guy and started demanding 10K. When F said he didn't had that much money P started behaving like a TG creating noise. He even tried to take away Fs office id, labtop etc. Finally F had to fall at his feet and send him off by paying 1.5K. So organized crime is becoming more rampant in chennai. So guys please be safe. In case you are extorted like this please contact https://www.magizhvanfoundation.org/contact-us/. Once I spoke with the founder and he told me their organization is registered with the govt and they have a legal help.
|Posted On Oct 22, 2019 - 06:49 PM|
@sasmathu - This is so scary are these people actually Transgender pretending to be men or vice versa but I keep reading similar episodes on this forum