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Being Bottom - Do you face Prejudices?

Submitted by kinkbud Location: All India (All India, India)

Is it difficult being a bottom psychologically? i mean in a conservative society like India and where being a member of LGBT community is seen with hatred . have you ever came across a person who treated you just to fulfill their desires and have looked down upon you for being a bottom..lets share our thoughts

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Posted On Jul 21, 2018 - 09:04 PM

Well I have had come across a top skank who was dictating his terms over chat
He wanted my face pic for his *** pic
Wanted to get *** and *** me

I denied his 'proposal for ***', to which He said bottoms are happy with ***, why you want romance.
Now this ugly midget sized top had this sheer audacity to look down on a person even without knowing his looks/interests

First of all, nothing should bring you down. Most self proclaimed tops are BIs and not straights. They end up *** with guys even after marriage.
Bottoms are typically called gays, which is untrue and a bit comical. There is a horde of effeminate tops who are gay, and those Bicurious/bisexual proclaiming tops who can not man down just because they feel that they can ***.
All these cuck seekers on internet media are typical losers of life who neither have money to afford a girl or a real time girl friend.

Being Bottom is a state of mind. If you find a right guy, you might definitely go verse. Well most bottoms find their erections too soft over a period of time as their psyche sends signal to the brain as per body needs.

Being bottom! Hell yeah. I am a proud one! :D

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Posted On Jul 22, 2018 - 06:52 AM

Nope. Ppl are nice

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Posted On Jul 22, 2018 - 08:30 AM

I hate those people who only thinks of pleasing themselves. And would t even spend 2 mit doing to please their partner...

Hate those top who thinks all gay like big *** in *** and in ***.. stupid a holes

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Posted On Jul 22, 2018 - 10:22 AM

i faced it when some of the so called tops claimed that i can not satisfy a women as i am a bottom. secondly,when they got to know that i work at a good position in a good company they claimed that i dont deserve it as i m a bottom and i shd be in interior/fashion designing field.

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Posted On Jul 22, 2018 - 05:20 PM

Let alone prejudices by others .. How many gays themselves have prejudices about bottoms ? I will be honest, yes I do had certain prejudices. Especially when it comes to ***. Cos the very first time I had *** *** a bottom, I saw him climax while my strokes were harder.. I was wondering since I am taking control of his body I am happy but how come this guy is happy .. Definitely my perception back then was quite naive, later did I realise sexuality is a spectrum..

Also a person's ability/ caliber / potential has nothing to do with his sexual orientation or for that sake his role ( read bottom)..

Another major issue which is faced by bottoms is the NON EQUALITY in the act.. Mostly bottoms are treated like a weaker ***.. I had heard some confessions from my bottom friends.. Hardly people ask them what pleasures them ? Did they enjoy the act ?

I make it a point to ask the bottoms whom I hook up with the above questions and also try to get to understand their satisfaction in the act..

Tops should understand that you can't call yourselves as a top unless you drive your bottom to the pinnacle of pleasure.. Not getting your satisfaction but satisfying your bottom makes you a good top.

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Posted On Jul 22, 2018 - 06:09 PM

Nicely said @valentine84. Gave me some kind of comfort.

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Posted On Jul 23, 2018 - 02:31 AM

Very true.. that bottom lose *** after some age because the mind gives them signal that u r bottom.. It has happened with me

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Posted On Jul 23, 2018 - 03:08 AM

What about versatile? @Love2

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Posted On Jul 23, 2018 - 04:42 AM

Absolutely true @valentine84.. Ppl should understand that *** s an art and they should know how to explore it... Wheather he s top or bottom.....

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Posted On Jul 23, 2018 - 10:50 AM

yes, I have felt aggression in many cases. I used to have a partner, and as he used to have a big huge dk and can sustain for an hour, he used to feel that my only job was to please him and make him ***. He never even touched me once, and I used to *** him the whole time. Once when I asked him to love and caress me, he got angry, and said that was not my his job, and he has come to me to give me chance to make him ***. Then when I again requested the next day, he got angry, and started pushing and abusing me, and said that a bottom's place is to *** ***, and not get entertained. he stated gagging me, and started slapping and abusing. I was in tears, but I still I couldn't leave him. It took me quite while and withstand a lot of abuse before I could forget and get over with him. There was another top guy who asked me to take pictures of females of my family and show it to him while I *** his ***. He always used to abuse me, and torture me. I dont know if to some extent, i was allowing them to do it, but they used to beat and abuse me. There was never a session with the 2nd guy when I could come out of his room without my eyes in tears.

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Posted On Jul 23, 2018 - 11:51 AM

i think u liked getting humiliated and abused and used..while at some point it is really free to surrender and be vulnerable but being beaten and abused is wrong..Glad u had the courage to come out of both the relations.and dont let neone show u down even if u r a bottom.

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Posted On Jul 23, 2018 - 03:06 PM

I always wonder about these top-bottom labels. People write here like they are hard wired in their brains to be tops or bottoms. These are sexual PREFERENCES and not orientations. We all have the same bodies and different parts are pleasurable to different people. Some people explore all roles and some people don't. If you have tried penetrating and have not been successful then it is not because you are born to be a bottom. It only means you have erectile problems and need psychological or medical attention. Getting an *** is a commonplace physiological process. How would that make a top any superior in any way? Also this rubbish about tops being bisexuals or straights!! This is only stemming from your own internalised homophobia that gay men are not men enough to penetrate. If you do not like being treated in any way inferior then you mostly have the liberty to walk out of such relationships however brief they are.

The OP also, in his zeal to identify bigoted tops, body shamed him for a small ***. How sensitive is that, to begin with?

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Posted On Jul 25, 2018 - 05:10 PM

yes. top guys just belive as *** object..couple of time this exp.. no romance love.. personla talk chat care..just *** object

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Posted On Jul 26, 2018 - 06:49 AM

Yes, most tops just want to satisfy their lust. They just want their desires to be full filled, whether it is phone *** or real ***. After that, they don't care about me. They'll talk all kinds of nonsense to get me in their bed. But once they have used my body for their enjoyment, they just toss me aside.

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Posted On Jul 30, 2018 - 10:30 AM

@ rohit : As someone mentioned, looks like you wanted all that *** of getting abused and beaten up... else no sane person would expose himself wittingly.

As i have always held, be unequivocal in what you can expect from an Indian and a foreigner.
A TOP from the developed world, who doesn't have any reservations / inhibitions about being gay/bi would do literally everything - Romance,bodyplay, even *** & Rimming passionately and then ***. (Not a single foreigner i have met is an exception to this ),
The so called Indian "TOPS" ( No pun intended :)) on the other hand are mostly gays / Bis who prefer making out with a guy but however their Machoism would impede their action. Nevertheless, they cannot refrain from indulging and convince themselves that they are actually not having fun with a male, but a bottom(effeminate).

No point in complaining. Romance is something that has to come from within. Even if he does it out of solicitation, it might be done perfunctorily.

Getting down to brass tacks, if he fucks well capitalize on that, if he romances well : thatz the gravy part and if he just wants a BJ and you love giving it, then feast on it. Just Enjoy and walk out.Being emotionally detached is the key. If bonding has to happen it will, over a period of time and not overnight.

Most of the TOPs are good. Neither do they feel high nor do they look down at bottoms. But for those few "MachoS" who think way toooo much about themselves, this is how u got to cut them down to size : Just make him realize that a bottom is attracted to a guy and his phallus which no woman has. But a so called macho Top, despite having a 1000 women around with a ***/ arse is still behind a guy's *** hole. And therefore he is as much a gay as a bottom if not more.

This is the brickbat u can give that would eventually make him grounded or turn him red ( Either of which u can enjoy :):):))

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Posted On Jul 30, 2018 - 01:27 PM

@Rogertoni22, I doubt you conducted a large scale study to confirm your hypotheses. I largely doubt if all self identified tops from the developed world fit your description nor do i subscribe to the idea that Indian men who assume in penetrating roles are always such ***. Please don't generalise.

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Posted On Jul 30, 2018 - 02:14 PM

Read carefully :
Not a single foreigner "I HAVE MET"
"Most of the TOPS" are good.

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Posted On Jul 31, 2018 - 12:55 PM

http://www.ohmojo.com/viewprofile.aspx?member=218990 is very perfect.

I have met TOPs who are real TOPs. They start and take you through the path of pleasure. They share their body and sexual emotions. It is lovely to be a bottom to those guys. Of course they show their macho-ism and force, but that is the dominance every bottom wants to be under.

But majority of the tops I have met are not like that. With a quick start they move to penetration. *** follows and once *** there will be a quick stop. Bottoms need roughness and being dominated. But not like quick lunch plate. Lot of guys wont even wait for the bottom to *** at the end.

I am not complaining. Something is better than nothing. But bottoms treat the real TOPs mentioned first like hero. I want all the TOPs to become heroes to their bottoms. :)

May be TOPs may have complains about bottoms. I would like to hear that as well. But are bottoms prejudiced towards tops? I doubt.

Prejudice doesn't alone happen in bed. It happens even while chatting. Bottoms have to share the photos and mob no first. Guys, v r all chatting for pleasure n fun. After a long discussion, when one guy asks num, show some decency.

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Posted On Jul 31, 2018 - 01:56 PM

well said cindrella_c... yes, passionate play always gives more pleasure to both bottom and top...

have done quiet a lot sensual play with bottoms.. and have noticed that they would ask for more meets when they get satisfied and pleased.. its always good to make sure the partner is satisfied than just own pleasure...

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Posted On Jul 31, 2018 - 04:11 PM

Yes cindrella, prejudice is very much there. I have experienced it. But to submit to such prejudice or not is in our hands. If i detect any supercilious attitude from any guy, i dump him immediately. To treat everyone equally and with respect - that should be the norm. But what happens is, if sm top guy is treating a bot like that, he feels he is doing the bot a favor, going out of the way, going the extra mile. That is not how it should be. It should be natural, inherent, innate. But then there are good and specimens any group of ppl. So just as there are arrogant tops who suffer from superiority complex, there are some nasty bots too. Its just a matter of treating each case on an individual basis.

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Posted On Jul 31, 2018 - 04:24 PM

Just to add to that. My ex bf was one such specimen. He was a mental case almost. Not just this top-btm thing, he had a lot of other prejudices n ill conceived notions abt a lot of other things. He was a typical dehati male chauvinist pig too. Used to call women randis. No respect at all. I had to tell him to stop being lecherous towards girls n learn to be more civilized. But i guess he only agreed to it out of his love for me. Or to put it better, his pretence that he loved me. He was married, a fact which he hadnt shared with me. I just want to highlight how pathetic hus attitude really was. Hence sharing this. Once i told him to take his wife for an outing. As he had told me that he doesnt hv any relation with his wife, doesnt talk to her, etc. I felt sorry for her. While we were discussing abt it, i suggested sm places where he could take her to. I mentioned beaches, nd his reply was, beach pe to randiyaa ghoomti hai nangi hokar. This is my wife, not my girl friend. I felt so disgusted with his reply. Kind of lost all or any respect that i had for him that day. I dont know why i let such a cheap person in my life. Will always regret it.

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Posted On Aug 4, 2018 - 08:10 AM

To top it all you get judgement from other guys who prefer playing a bottom role. I am a 30+ cis gender man. I look quite butch, i cant help it but my body language is very masculin. Once in a house party one of my old date disclosed that i play as bottom too. It was one of the most humiliating night i have faced. they played his recorded phone call where that due was discribing how he *** me so called desi top guy. Some guys there called me 'behan' and said 'tu hamari category ki hai to itna top hone ka drama kyu. hum bhi straight logo ke sath ghumti hai par hum teri tarah nautanki nahi karti"
I ask you, i am out and proud top guy. I love men. How i have *** with my partner is my business. I never tell any one if i am top or bottom unless they want me to play a specific role in bed. I am a guy and dont like behaving like a girl. So why such prejudice and discrimination from the community itself? I WILL NEVER IDENTIFY MYSELF AS A TOP OR BOTTOM GUY!

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Posted On Aug 4, 2018 - 04:49 PM

Exactly manbot. I faced the same type of thing. "Tu to bottom hai" arre first thing is i never pretend anything. I m who i m. Its not like i m even pretending to be a top. If u look at me n u assume i m top. Its ur fault. Nd as far as hook up or date is concerned i always clarify the pref n stuff. So its not even like i m trying to hide my role there. Its zaahil n gawaar ppl who have such prejudices. They think being top is superior to being bottom. To be honest, i dont care what such cheap ppl think. Let them be. Its not like if they didnt hv this particular prejudice, they wud be good dating material. So better to ignore the trash. N focus on ppl that matter.

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Posted On Aug 4, 2018 - 06:43 PM

Even i have experienced it. People have general opinion that bottom are bottom because they have small ***. But i am bottom by choice not by size. I enjoy my *** then *** others therefore i am bottom. My *** is not small or less then other tops out there. It just a mindset people have about bottom.
Another perception carries is Top is always master and bottom is always slave. But i play master with my top and they become my slave.. They treat me like a queen because i want them to do so. So come out of these traditional mindset and make your own way...

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Posted On Aug 4, 2018 - 09:53 PM

My two cents!!
A man who does not conform to masculine behaviour as expected by society, is looked down. Bottoms are looked down for that matter.
A bottom who is masculine takes many ppl by surprise as perhaps they wonder how could he put an man's appendange in his *** or let him enter through rear door!
Masculinity in women is viewed as boldness whereas the opposite is ridiculed
I studied in boys school where lads enjoy flirting with me but in public mock me or dont want to be associated with me
I wish the world soon moves to accept that being effeminate is OK and nothing to be ashamed(or scared) of.

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Posted On Aug 5, 2018 - 10:45 AM

Yes some tops act so rudely. Once I was chatting with a top and we were planning to meet. He said to me that I can never satisfy a girl. So he was forcing me to have breast plant and be his keep. He didn't cared about me or my family. He also spread my number to his friend saying them that I am a transgender bottom. I felt very bad

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Posted On Aug 5, 2018 - 12:01 PM

As mentioned before, much of these abuses are because of u exposing urself to be vulnerable. If he had the audacity to forward your numb, u should have the guts to forward his number to a couple of bottoms who are bold enough to take him head on. Definitely a cruel guy like him would be driven crazy by ur deed. All the best.

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Posted On Aug 8, 2018 - 02:48 PM

if anyone uses u or abuses you, its only becos u hv allowed him to.....remember
in your anxiety to get a gay partner, plz do not lose ur self esteem

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Posted On Aug 8, 2018 - 03:54 PM

after entering into gay life for atleast 5 years so many guys took my disadvantage. there are 90 % tops who treat bottom just as a substitute of girl. they just want to empty there pipes. no respect in their mind about bottom. just are *** seekers. after *** 7-8 times also guys just blocked my number without any reason. 80 % guys always told me their fake identity.
thats why I also decided -now I gather all information abt guy and then only do fun

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Posted On Aug 9, 2018 - 12:17 PM

Very well summarized @ ken9.
I would add that not all bottoms are feminine.
I look a normal male,even assertive but I am a bottom.

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Posted On Aug 24, 2018 - 08:40 PM

I'm not saying I got good tops, but I got some good ones, who respect me specially during ***, they went very slowly without hurting. Some guys I met doesn't alloowed to touch his eyes. A guy allowed everything but not kissing. That fellow is my office collegue, with with whom I had to share my room. I was his boss, though he's elder to me in age. He came on me that night and we had ***. He has given Handjob, I too gave hand job and then, after sometime, I tried to kis, but he's not allowing. I didn't mind. Next night too same case, so as next night. I said no and we stopped, no discussion about it.
So I made a thumb rule of myself. Ask the otherside whether he's ok with kiss or not. If he's ok, then you proceed with his. Is he is not interested, he can't kiss. Don't be desperate, someone will connect unki have to wait.

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Posted On Aug 24, 2018 - 09:29 PM

I've been treated like a girl many times. That's the only prejudice I've faced. But I kind of like that being a bottom

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Posted On Sep 3, 2018 - 02:58 AM

I had a low paying job while i was working in Saudi.Shared room with a tall pathan guy.I was a bottom but not like to be girlish.The pathan guy was pure straight but *** was hard to find in Saudi.So he used to make me dress as a girl,and treated me like his property.Sometimes he would just come,flip me to the bed,spread my *** and just push his *** in without any preparation.It used to hurt a lot,so i decided to kept myself lubed all time he is at home.Pathans are wild *** guys,some guys even *** goats to fill their thirst,so a human hole was a jackpot.Everyday he would *** my *** for like an hour,my stomach used to see flowers and finally feel relieved when he dump his loads inside.My *** got so loose after two months of his constant ***.He then exchanged me with his another friend and i had to move to a new room with new guy.Over the course of my three years in Saudi,i was thus exchanged between 14 *** starved guys in that neibourhood,all *** fuckers who just needed a hole to dump their loads.

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Posted On Sep 9, 2018 - 04:40 PM

Hi all

I at times feel we ourselves are to be blamed to a major extend..

We (as in bots) say that we want to be abused *** like a randi etc etc..sometimes I feel like saying have some respect for yourselves

We, me included put up our bare *** pics instead of our faces, do we actually have grounds to complain we are treated like objects..howelse would we be treated if we advertise ourselves as one..

I don't know ..I think we need to mature a lot 😞😞😞

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Posted On Sep 10, 2018 - 02:48 AM

I agree with @RainMan

Be it a bot, running behind a hot looking str8 guy for ***... Or begging for *** to a gay top having huge attitude...

Be it otherwise, ie a top guy trying to lure a teen bot, or a cute bot, for ***, by accepting his TnC...

We ourself allow others to treat us as objects.. the *** object...

Many guys clearly say they are paid guys, both top guys and bottom guys...

Some guys demand pick and drop...

It is up to us, if we want *** this way? Why don't we set our own rules, like I won't pay for ***, I won't do any favour to that guy (except some genuine reason), I won't meet a guy again if he does not respect me, etc etc.

Trust me, it is not like that only tops use bots. Bots also use tops... Some bots like different tops every time... So once they are done with one top, they stop meeting him.

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Posted On Sep 11, 2018 - 09:31 PM

I disagree. The whole putting up *** pics on display point. Is nullified by the number of *** on display.

I feel highly offended if sm guy tells me tht he wants to make me his randi. Nd frankly it hasnt happened with me ever. Once one guy did say tht but it was a masseur in a spa. Nd it was just to up the erotic quotient on his part. I understood tht nd didnt feel offended.

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Posted On Sep 12, 2018 - 06:25 AM


Personal call ya..I anyways took off my *** pic..thought one should walk the talk than just talk the talk!!

May be it's a personal call but I don't understand the erotic whatever in being called a randi..anyways peace

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Posted On Sep 16, 2018 - 06:16 AM

@pappubgl re,

How hypocrical you are dude..
You too have enjoyed with them, and complaining now as if it was done without your consent..
You were not a slave, you were working there and had full freedom to say NO. A big NO.
That too you have been swapped with 14 others guys..

Its upto you , you sleep with 14 or 24..
But acting now as if tops have used you, is highly hypocritical..
Grow up man..

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Posted On Sep 17, 2018 - 03:58 AM

@rainman. I hadnt even looked at ur dp. So my comments never meant to venture in tht direction. Anyways, and abt the randi comment. Read carefully, i said he was trying to just talk dirty. May be he felt it wud b more erotic for me. I was his client. It wasnt tht i found ut erotic but just let it pass as no ill or abuse was intended on his part.

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Posted On Sep 17, 2018 - 04:32 AM

'Randi' , a woman is also a human being.. why to speak differently of them......and yes there r many woman and men who like to get abused in ***....thats what brings kick in them... not for all but for some surely... and not all like to have so called romantic relationship in gay or hetro world.. some like to have pure sexual relationships as well ..and mostly they show their body part only in profile... like me..

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Posted On Sep 17, 2018 - 05:30 AM

Randi's are much much better..Atleast they get paid..Some of bottoms like me ended up paying tops to get our *** lust fulfilled
..We pay them to treat us worse than Randi...

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Posted On Sep 17, 2018 - 06:19 AM

I would rather say, you bottom guys inflict this on yourselves..
90% of you, requests, top guys to abuse you, scold you, treat you like slave and what not..
First you raise the bar of self respect..
I dont understand what type of kick you guys get begin abused by top guys..

Decide which is important for you; lust or self respect;
Remember, no body can hurt you unless and until you allow them to do so;

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Posted On Sep 17, 2018 - 12:58 PM

That is an unfortunate comment @Aarif2018. Abuse or humiliation in sexual context is very different from discrimination based on sexual role and gender expressions. If someone has a fetish for BDSM then it doesn't mean they like to be extended to other spheres of their lives. Everything is consensual. Discrimination is non consensual.

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Posted On Sep 17, 2018 - 01:48 PM

Well said @sambhog.
The issue is the superiority complex tht sm guys harbour in their mind abt roles etc. I mean, look there are straight guys who look down upon gay guys. Not accepted but understood. But within our community, there are guys who consider themselves top n above the guys they ***. Thts even more disgusting than straight guys' behaviour. Personally i wudnt let any bastard treat me with disdain, but i know there are other ppl in our community, who may not be as strong or vocal or aggressive in expressing themselves. Doesnt mean anyone treat them bad. Thts just plain wrong. Dont blame them by saying they bring it upon themselves. Tht would be like blaming a girl for getting ***. Just not acceptable.

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Posted On Sep 17, 2018 - 03:27 PM

@sambhog and Gulfsa

My response, was for Kharbottom, who have expressed his view about being treated bad and abused than randi..
I am not taking side on tops here.. I am well aware of the fact that tops uses bottoms, myself being a vers, has been a victim.

Which type of consexual *** you are talking about?
You let the top dominate you, pay him, let him treat you like a slave and abuse you., for lust..
My question is, if he is abusing, then why are you letting him to abuse you...

My point is quite clear..
If some body is abusing/using/belittle you, for first time, and you are complaining about it, then that makes sense..
If some body keeps on abusing you, and you are tolerating that for your own lustful needs, then I would say problem lies in yourself first..
Why dont you kick his ***, and get away??

Ppl are of varied interests.. I am aware of the fact that, guys , specially tops and straights abuse and use bottoms..
And the major reason for that is,apart the lack of self respect, submissiveness, desperation from bottom guys..
I know this would stirr up anger from many , but its better to accept the truth and solve the issue, rather than avoiding it..

All I am trying to say is:
Dog barks at you, bites you and threatens you.. Why dont to kick out the dog, and teach him a lesson rather than complaining?

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Posted On Sep 17, 2018 - 03:28 PM


There is a difference between, getting *** anad keeps on getting ***, though you have the ability to say NO.
No top is forcing or bonding you to let him *** your ***..

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Posted On Sep 17, 2018 - 04:47 PM


You are right. The bottoms need to accept truth and not complain. I am saying this becos I am a bottom too. And yes i am submissive and enjoy being used and so i dont complain about it. I am happy with what i get from tops and how i am treated i enjoy it

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Posted On Sep 17, 2018 - 06:41 PM

I guess adddd's reply sums up my entire point..
Enjoy if you wanna be rided/abused or wat ever, or if you feel being abused/belittled, then walk away..
Simple as that..
Nobody is gonna stop you...

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Posted On Sep 17, 2018 - 06:45 PM

So, rather than acting like Sri reddy, I think bots should be clear about their priorities and self respect..

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Posted On Sep 17, 2018 - 06:51 PM

I would rather say , entire scenario would change if bots have their own self respect, stop being desperative , submissivve and what NOT.
At the end, its every body's priorities..
Atleast for those who are complaining here and demand self respect, should show a VERY STRONG resistance towards top/bottom bullying..

nobody is gonna help you unless you help yourselves..

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