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Dealing with blackmail

Submitted by intro_vert Location: All India (All India, India)

This is a more serious topic as compared to the other light hearted ones. But i feel there is a need to address it as we live in a country where we are still considered criminals by law. Efforts are being made to change the situation but the risk of persecution and incarceration are real. Blackmail and extortion of gays has been common and one must be weary to avoid such occurances. The toll we have to pay as homosexuals is massive in these cases.

Were you ever in such situations before? If so, how did you deal with it?

What is your suggestion to avoid such events from happening?

Do share your inputs

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Displaying 1 to 28 of 28 comments.

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Posted On Apr 13, 2018 - 05:27 AM

my rule: stay away from strangers or money boys

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Posted On Apr 13, 2018 - 05:57 AM

Best way to deal with blackmails or to avoid such guys - Think with your mind not driven by your *** ***.

Exercise caution. No blind dates. Meet in common place. Get the pulse of the person. Observe for abnormal behaviour. Look into the eyes. A lot can be seen from the eyes. Politely refuse to videos or pics during private intimate moments. Look before you leap. Stay safe.

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Posted On Apr 13, 2018 - 06:36 AM

Very good inputs from newbie and valentine....

Being careful is the key to being safe. Sometimes, even the most careful get into a hidden quagmire.

I've known a friend who was in a 'serious' relationship for almost a year. Who took all the precautions mentioned above. The so-called partner took secret pictures of him when he was asleep. Then followed a series of blackmails, threats and it turned into a bitter fight quite soon. Inwas referring to cases like these where one takes all possible precautions bit is still prone to extortion. How would you deal a situation like this?

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Posted On Apr 13, 2018 - 07:08 AM

I know avoidance is the best way but one needs to remember that usually the black mailer himself in most cases has kept his activities out of the knowledge of his close ones. I have been a victim of this. Such cases can be fought back by you being more cautious. However we only develop caution once we are bitten a couple of times.
There are thugs that bully you on the spot for which you cant do much that is as good as getting mugged. in this case go to safe decent places many are available today.

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tonedbloke *
Posted On Apr 13, 2018 - 07:42 AM

I know a friend in mumbai who lost a couple of lakhs to a "so called friend". He met the guy through a shared contact. That used emotional blackmail saying his brother is in hospital etc and needed financial help. He even had a woman call him pretending to be his mother and extorting money using emotional drama. Went on for a while before my friend realised that not only the money lent that was gone but there were gold ornaments also missing from his apartment. He could'nt do anything as the person just disappeared off the radar.
Genuine gay people are generally more soft and emotionally more susceptible. My rule is 'never ever involve money" Neither lend nor borrow. Keep fun and money as separate. Some guys you meet just a couple of times and they come up with stories and ask for a loan assuring the return. Never fall for that trap. There are other sources they can go to get funds. Not your hard earned money.

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Posted On Apr 13, 2018 - 07:55 AM

@intro_vert - It's about the attitude with which you deal such people. Mostly it's the 'fear factor or emabarassment' these muggers use as a bait.. As long as show a 'CARE A DAMN' attitude to these guys they have nothing to bank on..

In my case I was initially worried to have my pics on such sites and many have questioned me too.. But I have had instances where my Facebook pics (though secured ) were taken by screenshots and cropped and posted on some gay pages. In this case what can be done ? It was taken from my normal FB page and that too without my knowledge just like ur friend whose pics were clicked while he was asleep.. I have had funny instances of guys who have my pics in their profile and text me in PR and Gr.. Just ignore these guys, with this internet and smart phone camera era, many click our private pics even without our knowledge, so instead of fearing for these guys just ignore them ..

Of course if the confrontation is on spot it's a diffferent case, so always exercise caution. I would suggest do a cursory check at the least of the person. One easy way, check the number in truecaller. Now with the tagging feature u get a little clue of the person's background. But always prevention is better than cure.

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Posted On Apr 13, 2018 - 08:49 AM

For blackmail whether you are gay or otherwise, it is crime. If you report your homosexuality won't be in danger.

On PR I have often come across with some ids who hv given information on how to deal with blackmail.
They are volunteers and groups who help
If I come across the information again I will post it here

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Posted On Apr 13, 2018 - 11:11 AM

I have been blackmailed. I was in my late teens and just started college. Those were the days of yahoo chat! Someone had my picture and blackmailed asking me to top up his mobile for INR1000. I was like I can't do it. What will you do? Expose me. Go ahead and do ! I'm already out and its not gonna make a difference. Never heard back from him again. Just don't be scared. Have an I don't give a rat's *** attitude and don't let the fear factor take over.

I never let money come between me and any friends. I politely refuse.

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Posted On Apr 13, 2018 - 04:26 PM

Kudos Neel Sanchet you nailed it.

Fear and nervousness are the two reasons that make people a prey to blackmail.

377 cannot be applied randomly unless caught having a nal.

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a wanderer
Posted On Oct 7, 2019 - 05:09 PM

Yesterday i got a call from my friend who is from dehradun. With sobbing voice, he told me abt his blackmailer. He was his school senior, with whom he had some fun in school days. Now that guy is local goon and forcing my friend to establish physical relation with him. He also threatened him to disclose his identity to his friends, relatives and family if he doesn't abide by his wish. As a result, my friend who is just 21, got terrified. That goon also claims to have his nudes with him. What can be done in such situations? I am most certain abt he don't have any pictures of my friend. But still he can contact his family easily and make life difficult for my friend. Any suggestions???

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Posted On Oct 7, 2019 - 05:46 PM

@awanderer First your friend should be really brave and also little cunning. Maybe he can initially start with texting that goon and make him chat nasty things in Whatsapp fb etc. Store it safely. Then seduce him (goon) to send some semi nude/nude pics. Store it. Once your friend has both he can turn the table around and can blackmile that goon. He should think cunningly so that he can generate evidences like pics, msgs, mails etc documenting the fact that goon is actually blackmiling. Since 377 is amended the goon can't do much except for treating to reveal the identity (which in any case he wont). On the other hand your friend would be better off he he has the evidence of blackmiling since by law any form of blackmailing is an offence.

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Posted On Oct 7, 2019 - 05:50 PM

This is for chennai guys. Recently they have started an organization for gay men called magilvan foundation (https://www.magizhvanfoundation.org/contact-us/) at villivakkam chenai. The founders Yesuraja and Satish are Chennai based gay couple.I had spoken to yesu and he is a very genuine person. He is also there in fb. The organization is registered with govt. So no problem. They are well connected and would be able to provide counseling, guidance and help under these conditions.

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Posted On Oct 7, 2019 - 08:05 PM

Recently I had been a victim of extortion from a guy from Madurai who also had robbed my friend as well. I do not want to get in details but I must say be very careful in random hookups. Nowadays some guys who are living with transgenders are also doing this kind of thing. I contacted a guy who is a gay social worker but he also could not of much help. I just wanted to expose that guy so that other people beware of him but I could not do so. Within a short period of time I read about three gay crimes in India of which the latest one was of that ISRO scientist who got killed recently. Make nice faithful friends and with them also keep some reservations regarding privacy. Do not take any nude pics together.

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Posted On Oct 7, 2019 - 08:09 PM

What happened to the isro scientist?

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Posted On Oct 8, 2019 - 04:40 AM

News story related to murder of ISRO scientist

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Posted On Oct 8, 2019 - 05:54 AM

God damn. Money means so much to some people huh

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Posted On Oct 8, 2019 - 10:49 AM

This is why i don't like to have friendship with anyone. Especially from these types of sites or apps. Better to have random hookups in a theater than share personal life with someone you don't know and get screwed later on.

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Posted On Oct 8, 2019 - 12:27 PM

It is not good to generalise the things. Having friends is not bad. Extortion and blackmailing happens in str8 relationship also.
Wrong is when we cross limits and trust other extra ordinarily.

People want / share details in very first meetings like real names, real phone numbers, where they are from, etc etc. Why such things are necessary to be exposed?

Evem after togetherness of long time, their is no point in telling people personal details.
And always listen 6th sense' voice.

And once u smell greed and cunningness and cheating in your friend, start being cautious about him.

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Posted On Oct 8, 2019 - 12:50 PM

Only solution is more and more gays become open about their sexuality. Then what will they be blackmailed for?

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Posted On Oct 8, 2019 - 01:02 PM

i agree @fifty but there's still a lot of social stigma attached to gay sexuality and it is not seen in good light.

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Posted On Oct 8, 2019 - 01:06 PM

The safest way to live and socialize with gay and bisexual guys are as follows:

1) Meet and talk to guys on gay and bisexual sites only.
2) Verify. Verify. Verify. Strictly verify. Check if he is really gay or bisexual or just a trap by cops or goons online. Check his social media presence.
3) Check if his intentions are 100% genuine, harmless, innocent and friendly. If he harms you, you'd regret later.
4) Meet him or group of men at LGBT parties ONLY or check if he is connected with other well known gay guys. And perhaps you can verify from that other gay guy if this guy you are chatting with is genuinely gay or impersonating.
5) Get to know a guy before you decide to meet.
6) There is nothing wrong to be cautious. Don't feel bad if you are feeling suspicious. Your own safety is must be your highest priority than someone else's feelings.

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Posted On Oct 8, 2019 - 02:52 PM

Its very bad thing rubbery and blackmail
First need to all clear if u need money then tell clear but why they do that samefull think so frnd tacke care

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Posted On Oct 8, 2019 - 05:03 PM

@radical123 - but how do you verify a random guy you're chatting with on a gay site? I don't go to lgbt parties. So is there a way?

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Posted On Oct 8, 2019 - 05:17 PM

@ punetop there r people who uses mask of a gentleman to seduce real gentleman. How can these masked person be identified? Have u any short cut method.?

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Posted On Oct 9, 2019 - 01:08 AM

Blackmail is when someone wants something but what would call a guy who asks for nothing and simply wants to expose your sexuality because you have dumped him or moved on...

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Posted On Feb 14, 2020 - 07:31 AM

Please go through the following links

Gurugram: 50 executives trapped on gay dating app, robbed by gang

Corporate bosses in Delhi fall prey to honeytraps on gay dating app

How the police trapped gang extorting execs through gay dating app

Out of 50 executive only 1 dare to go to police and they helped him!

And here people still think that going to police is more risky than going to secluded places with Random guys

Question is did police disclosed the victim details to their friends/family or media?

Answer is Big NO

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Unimate *
Posted On Feb 14, 2020 - 09:56 AM

Despite so much awareness, still they fell prey as victims. What's the use being a senior executive or ceo when you can't handle safety norms!!!

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Posted On Feb 14, 2020 - 11:24 PM

Listen to your gut feeling...your sixth sense does warn you when something bad is about to happen...move to a safe zone ..and dont fall into the charm and temptation of the opposite guy...this has become a new source to make money for rogues...most of the men on those hook up apps are gold diggers, black mailers ,looking for easy money, sponsers for high end life styles who can take them to movies, pubs ,bars ,all sponsered trips and tours...they want to live a life of luxury on the others expense...i still..remember the scene from I am ..movie ..where rahul bose gets duped by a cop and con gay hooker..its so close to reality....be aware... Listen to your mind than your ***/***...god forbid you get into such a situation...dont fear to approach the cops..if you dont file a complaint and report the crime .and take their help...if those criminals are on loose and you are giving them a chance to loot many more victims