Born straight and became gay
Thoughout my life I've been curious about this. Just wanted to know if this is only my experience or if it is common. When I was around 6th or 7th standard, suddenly one day I hit puberty. I know because I got vivid dreams of boobs and was getting quite *** in the night itself. Then I used to watch navels of heroines and started masturbating. This went on for some time. I still remember this particular incident. In the newspaper one day, there was a picture of this busty heroine with cleavage and navel exposed. I took the paper, ran to an auto behind our house (the driver used to come only in the afternoon) and masturbated licking at those navels and cleavage. Also once in a browsing center someone who was in the cabin before me, left pic of a naked girl and went. I saw that, couldn't control myself and *** there itself. It was the first time I saw nipples. I was super *** all the time and only remember watching women.
This went on for about 1-1.5 years. Later on, I slowly started getting attracted to men instead of women and at one point, I totally lost interest in women. Even my rib cage that was broadening stopped and my height also stopped (could be just a co-incidence). I'm just wondering if any of the below could be the reason for this.
1. My mom was super protective of me and I was very very close to her. But I never had a working relation with my father. We hardly ever spoke with each other. Not that he is bad or anything, but he is quiet type and I never had any physical or mental connection to him.
2. I never used to play with guys of my age. I went to play cricket once or twice but I was bad in fielding and got scoldings too, so never went after that. They used to call me but I never went. Mostly I was into studies.
3. I was scared and never used to ride cycle/scooter that time but most of the boys (and even girls) started coming to school by cycle or bike at that time. My mom who was very protective of me did not even encourage me to ride cycle and all. She was concerned about my safety. I learnt cycle only when I was in 11th standard and bike/scooter much later.
4. I was mostly a loner and had real friends only after 10th standard. I used to long looking at the friendship of my classmates, the way they play with each other and have bike ride trips at those times.
5. Overall I never felt as an equal to the other boys of my age at that time. I thought they were much better than me because they ride cycle/bike and play well while I was shortcoming. May be that complex turned out to be some kind of physical attraction.
6. This may not be the reason but once I overheard my mom accusing my dad of cheating on her with the neighbor lady. My dad was refuting that and nothing happened after that. But then I was a bit traumatized just to think of it because I was too much affectionate to my mom.
Does anyone else have this kind of experience of being straight during puberty and then turned out to be gay?
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|Previous comments: 1 2 |
|Posted On May 19, 2020 - 05:13 PM|
But self inquiry is done when we know that we could get to a certain conclusion. Just self inquiring yourself again and again without getting to a certain specific point is just a waste of our valuable time in my opinion. It's a process we opt when we think that there is something wrong with us, which we all know isn't true. Being gay is as normal and natural as anything else in this world. And it has been same for thousands of years. But when society makes us believe that being who you are is wrong then, we start to self inquire about our identity. But why do we do that? Why we start our inquiry with a belief that something is wrong with us and we needs to be fixed? Why not a straight guy questions his sexual identity? Why doesn't he think about being straight and how he became straight? Why nobody questions his sexuality? It's just because we think that being straight is an obvious thing and needs no questioning. Things like your purpose of living, your decisions and your social responsibilities need self inquiry. Not your sexuality in my opinion. Because it won't change you or your feelings. So, in my opinion we should stop questioning our sexuality and start living our life by accepting our self the way we are.
|Posted On May 19, 2020 - 06:46 PM|
@shapeoflove, let's agree to disagree. It's not a matter of 'something being wrong': I review my sexuality because I know that in the past it has developed. Yours may not have. We're different.
Being straight isn't an obvious thing; that's the point - all the diversity here on this site alone screams at the need for personal review. And learning sonething new about yourself does change your feelings.
I don't review my purpose for living; I don't see the point. (Isn't your purpose for living fixed?) My decisions are based on imnediate needs; I live in the perpetual present. I fully accept the way I am, but recognise that my behaviour is mutable because of what I know about myself, and that knowledge is the product of self inquiry.
|Posted On May 19, 2020 - 09:27 PM|
@C4LEB I partly agree with you but I believe @shapeoflove is making a very good important point especially when you can see majority of people on this particular topic here are retorting to self enquiry in a very confused and delusional manner and vividly turning to blame game as if our sexuality has been vehemently conditioned by environment and people around us. Introspection is a wonderful thing but once self realization is achieved and once we identify we like certain things the best is to accept it rather than continously engaging in self enquiry. This can also translate to state of denial and self rejection maybe not for you but I believe the point of discussion around here mostly pertains to this as put up by the person whoever herewith citing his early socialization issues with other boys and parents' indifference.
|Posted On May 20, 2020 - 08:45 AM|
My experience with gay life started at my age 6. I used to play with my friends....one of the friend used to open my *** and *** it.....that time I used to take it like play.....afterwards I used to like the same fun want it everyday. For that fun, I used to search for friends etc etc....finally by the time my age is 11, I started attracting senior men while playing and had good fun with them.....
All those days, I accept my orientation and try only men for fun....this happend to me till my marriage. I used to appreciate the beauty of girl and visualise the fun of being with them. But never tried to have some romance with them...since I was deeply comfortable and enjoying with men.
Even before marriage I thought whether I can lead marriage life.....believe me ....it turned out to be good to have men to women *** and enjoying it.
Now , I never bothered to define self ...whether gay, bisexual or straight. Definitely not straight since I enjoy being with men too. So, it must be Bisexual type.
For me reverse ...it is being gay to bisexual (ofcourse not to straight yet....since I still look for fun with men)
|Posted On May 21, 2020 - 10:58 AM|
I'm in total agreement with Hottmale, experiences are slightly different. I was used by my male cousin when I was around 7. he was 15+ and he used me for several years. I got habituated with guys and removing shorts, feeling ***, pulling the foreskin etc. Later when I was in grade 8, few guys from hostel started making out, fondling ***, and we graduated to using a *** on outer lips, etc. Gradually started the blow job, ever since I understood the ecstacy of blow jobs, there's no way of going back. it's been an awesome one-way journey. I get *** and I also enjoy *** some nice cut mushroom heads. thicker girths amuse me more, than lengthy ones.
I also am turned on to girls,21-28. I'm not the one for auntys or sloppy ones. I'm more of a butt lover, than a boob lover. I like watching some straight *** too.
My fantasy for *** is watching Tamil audio ***, gay/straight. the audio and conversation turns me on a lot. I am hoping to be married to a woman, I'm still virgin when it comes to *** with women and I am looking forward to it. I am also thinking my hook up with men eon diminish during my wedding with a woman, as I am very loyal to a single person to whom I am committed. I have hooked up several times with a lot of men, but been in a relationship with 4 different guys, and I never saw another guy when I used to be with one guy during that relationship
|Posted On May 23, 2020 - 12:44 PM|
I think cricket was not my cup of tea either.. Like most of the guys here.. But i never had attraction towards girls right from beginning.
No body would believe... But when i was 4 or 5 a girl in neighbor who was about 2 year elder to me use to make me and herself completely nude and we use to play in a closed room like that for hours.. Several unusual games with physical touching of each other bodies.. I dont know may be i was introduced too early for all this that it was no excitement for me.
Now much before puberty.. I started feeling something different about guys.. Conductor of school bus was my first crush.. He was a young lad of age 16-17 may be and use to be only in baniyan as soon as bus leaves school campus...i may be 10 that time..
By 12 my maternal uncle did hanky oanky stuff with me at night while co-sleeping. Pata nahi gay logo ke saath hi aisa hota hai ya jinke saath aisa hota hai wo gay ho jate hein..
|Posted On May 24, 2020 - 09:49 AM|
Hi I am straight guy but I don't know why I am eager to *** ***. Really I want to *** a *** badly but till now I didn't get anyone. I don't know why I am very much interested in *** ***. In my dreams also it came that some is *** my *** woww awesome dream but I didnt get anyone to go live. If anyone is aware about this kind of sense pls respond. In *** also I love to watch shemale porns only...
|Posted On May 27, 2020 - 10:28 AM|
@venuslux36 if imagination of *** *** gives u boner (and u like girls too) then u r bisexual. If u just want to try *** *** without this imagination giving u boner then u are just bi-curious.
|Posted On May 27, 2020 - 10:52 AM|
@hotbotpop I'm very much surprised to read this!! (I even rechecked whether I myself haven't written this). Exactly same things have happened with me but their are some slight differences. First ur last point didn't happen with me in exact manner. My mom never accused my dad of being cheating her with another women, but my dad maintained very close relation with our neighbors, and he considered neighbor aunty as his sister until they cheated with us financially and quarrel broke out between my father and mother on this issue. Rest of things are same. My mom is still very protective to me, I didn't have friends till nearly 5th standard (got friends earlier than u, still it's too much) , didn't have good friends in college for majority of time, was too shy to play outside as I was and still am very bad at sports, only recently I learnt to ride bicycle and so on. I was never attracted to boys, never found any boy in school to be handsome (now I find many of them to be lol) and never had any connection with boys. In my good school days after 5th standard I would spend lot of time to impress girls, even had crush on total 3 girls and used to *** alot while watching straight *** (sometimes with my girl cousins when I would go to their home in holidays). However suddenly in 2nd year of my college, at which time I was completely alone due to lack of friends, started feeling attraction to boys with even more passion than I had felt for girls during so many years! For around 4 months I was complete gay, and I wouldn't get turned on by women at all... I don't know how but somehow I again started to like girls in my final year in college and again had crush on another girl (I was too shy in all 4 times to propose them, when I perfectly knew that 2 of them had given positive responses to me and only formal proposal was remaining) . I don't know whether it's coincidence or what, that time when I started to again like girls was also time when I got really good friends in college. As of now, I identify myself as bisexual, I had equal feelings towards both boys and girls (though emotionally I'm more attracted to girls while physically more to boys). I can get equally hard while seeing both straight and gay *** . Seeing ur example I think surrounding conditions also must be playing important role in deciding sexuality. Nevertheless studies have already suggested that human sexuality is fluid and may change with time. I don't know whether I will again become completely straight from bisexual or go in other direction again, but personally I would like to be bisexual as I can explore my life fully in this scene!!!
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