Actually, showing one’s face in the main profile pic in this website or any other gay-friendly website or a mobile app is really not a big deal. But still, I like profiles showing the user’s face fearlessly.
Today I used a freshly clicked pic showing my face in side-profile as the main pic on this website. I can be seen blowing the thick smoke of huqqa. The picture is beautiful. Initially, it was not a great thing for me. But after some time I received some messages in my inbox. A matured user appreciated my profile wholeheartedly and I reciprocated him with a thank you. The sender of the second message said that he had seen me on the train. In 2x2! He said I was staring at him. Then through chat, I tried to know from him whether he is a stranger and we stared at each other in the train or he really knows me. Probably he saw someone else who looks lime.
But then I became conscious and re-uploaded the same pic while hiding my eyes. Because coming out for a family man is a difficult thing.
Has anybody of you confronted this situation with a happy ending or embarrassment otherwise? Has anybody used it as an opportunity to come out from the closet? I am curious to know.
|Displaying 1 to 23 of 23 comments.|
|Posted On May 22, 2019 - 07:06 AM|
I am not comfortable putting up my face pic since I am afraid of identity theft. Anyone can misuse your photo and create a fake profile on any social media.
|Posted On May 22, 2019 - 07:28 AM|
Showing off face pic might not be a big deal for someone but the truth is lil hard bcz of ur society..ur society didn't really accepts the gay family..aka LGBT . So being a social person its very hard for me to putting profile pics. The society not only harrass me also my family..and what about ur parents whom u ur meeting..ther privacy also become open..so not for myself i m hiding my pic for my family and partner..if society become open-hearted tn it might b much more easier for everyone to put profile pic..
|Posted On May 22, 2019 - 11:48 AM|
I feel here people are just pic collector or maybe my pic will be misused so I am not comfortable in sharing pic. Second is the society issue. I prefer to meet personally.
|Posted On May 22, 2019 - 07:17 PM|
I'm cool about it.
|Posted On May 25, 2019 - 12:04 AM|
My intention to create this cruising point is to know that has anybody taken advantage of face pic to come out? 2nd is, was it happy ending for embarrassing?
|Posted On May 25, 2019 - 04:50 AM|
I first used my face pic on my PR profile while I was on a visit to Mumbai. And soon, I received a message from a profile of some senior person who told that he is a senior collegue of mine and advised me that a pouch with our company logo, that I was carrying on that picture, is a dead giveaway of my identity. I understood that he must be someone who knows me well as he called me by a shorter version of my name that is only used by the collegues who know me well. It was like a shock to me and I didn't know what to do. I deleted that photo immediately but it made to think a lot and I understood that this hiding my identity from the world is the thing that I want to end. So I must say, his message was one of the catalysts for me to finally take the decision of coming out.
Sir, if you are here, this part is for you. I don't know who you are. But I want to thank you for showing the care and motivating me in the process. I wanted to thank you personally, but then I was very scared even to answer you and now, I lost the backup after I deactivated PR once and so I can't find you there...
|Posted On May 25, 2019 - 05:14 AM|
During the early years of PR which was then guys4men, everything was new to me. I didn't know why I posted a clear face pic if mine onto my profile. I had an overwhelming response being one of the young bloods in the forum. Initial attention I got was really good but slowly in the outside world I was getting some awkward glares n stares from men in and around my area of schools. Mostly they were uncle's. Initially I didn't understand Why but slowly I started feeling something was right.
One day I was walking towards my tuition from Shenoy nagar to aminjikarai, one guy must be in his 30s was following me in his scooter n after sometime when I reached a small narrow lane he came ahead n crossed me n stopped me n started a conversation n said he liked me very much n knew where I lived n started holding my hands too. I was shocked about how a total stranger knew me so well. Then he told me about my profile n how he n his couple of friends staying around my house located me unwanted to have some quality time with me. My face was red I was so embarrassed n could weigh in the situation. I said sorry uncle I don't know what u are talking about but he grew strong n said he knew what I was n what I liked n almost tried to threaten me that if I did not agree, he would complain at home.
I was speechless n totally list he pulled me towards him n hugged me in the dark lane n took my hand into his dhothi n made me feel his huge ***. But I wasn't feeling good at all. I just pushed him off with his scooter n ran from there. I didn't come out if the house for 2 to 3 days but I could see this guy n few others driving by my house n staring at the balcony looking for me. I thought what a bad decision to put my face pic n immediately next day rushed to internet centre n deleted my profile.
|Posted On May 25, 2019 - 05:52 AM|
This happened to my friend who was then in his 40s and was also a HOD in a private college. He put his pic in PR and one of his student got to see it. That guy created a false profile and started chatting with my friend and got all details through chat, including cell no and finally deleted his profile. After few days the same guy started approaching my friend in his office, not directly but indirectly. Apparently he was very poor in his studies and had several arrears. He wanted to statisfy my friend and some how wanted to clear all his papers. Once my friend got to know his intention he avoided him completely. That guy who realized his tactics is not going to work again created a false email id and circulated the chat conversation which he had with my friend (along with screen shots of my friends profile) with his classmates. By word of *** the whole college got to know about this including the management. This guy still being anonymous didnt had any problem. Except for my friend, nobody really knew who has circulated this info. Even with my friend he just had a clue, no proof. To cut the story short my friend had to quit his job and move to a new place. His family life was completely ruined. So guys be very careful when you share pics in gay social websites. You would never knew who would be at your back.
|Posted On May 25, 2019 - 12:13 PM|
I had put my face pics in PR some 9 or 10 yrs back and then some guy collected several of the face pics of guys in PR, created a youtube video captioning it gays of chennai..i got notified about the link asking me to report the video and i saw the video myself. I never put face pics even in whatsapp let alone internet. I have pics in private only now.
|Posted On May 25, 2019 - 02:36 PM|
Am not sure how much does straight use our pics to black mail us, but we do not have Security among our gay community itself.. Luckily, i didnt have my face pics, but my body pics were misused thrice, once by a guy in Chennai and another within Hyd itself. In both cases, they used my body pics and claimed themselves to be commercials, which made me a whore indirectly. Havent realised it until few of my friends alerted it.
|Posted On May 25, 2019 - 08:00 PM|
I think college and college management in mumbai r still homo 0hobic that is why
|Posted On May 28, 2019 - 11:30 AM|
Post the SC reading down of Sec 377; I mustered up the courage to put my face pic on a dating app.
Imagine my surprise when someone recognised me & expressed "disgust" & called me a faggot. I would like to think it was this guy's (strange) sense of humour! His own profile had a blurred cropped pic. So, I felt "exposed".
Another time an ex student recognised me! Luckily I had not taught him & in any case he is now in college.
|Posted On May 28, 2019 - 12:22 PM|
Even if u had put Ur pic in dating app, n someone else u know recognises u n have dare to call u faggot on Ur face , be dare to lie, ask him on which app or site he saw n back question him what was he doing on that app isn't he also interested in men or something, these teasing people they r no good, even if he be close ones, ask him on which app he saw and later ask what was he doing on such app? This would lower his attitude which is important, u need to act in such a way that someone else has used Ur pic on such apps , n be anger n threaten by saying u won't that guy n ask that guy to be witness as he was the first to recognise u , this way he might learn his lesson, for not only interfering in others private life but for also making fun of it , do it,
|Posted On May 28, 2019 - 12:33 PM|
My previous post above I forgot to mention that u show anger by saying that u won't leave that person who used Ur pic n ask tha *** who called u faggot to help u , n say when he said that when he recognised u , u didn't say anything coz u were shocked,but now u r ready to face problem , this time even he will be also questioned what he was doing on such dating app
|Posted On Jun 3, 2019 - 06:17 AM|
I dont put my original face pic. But if you see my profile it's my Real *** pic. Problem for Face pic is,
I am married amd Stright and i have one kid 2 year old. So i dont put original face lic.
|Posted On Jul 11, 2019 - 06:36 AM|
I think in this day and age when anything and everything you do is tracked, it's a little paranoid not to be authentic and be out there!
I get it if you are really ugly (sorry! But thats the fact) or are there to stalk ppl or are bisexual and have a wife and kid at home or CEO of a company ( but then you wouldn't be on Grindr or ohmojo! Lol) and you don't want to expose your face.
Be proud of your face and identity, people get blackmailed because they don't take basic precautions like not inviting strangers to home at first instance or not doing enough background checks.
Like the HOD guy...I would have searched all social media and seen if the profile given was authentic and if not, it is a red flag and to be alert. Do not give WhatsApp and contact nos, unless you have met the person...
Sadly there will be bad apples everywhere..
|Posted On Jul 11, 2019 - 06:56 AM|
Ryan, I am little hurt by your choice of words in describing appearances. While you may quote it as a fact, who are we to judge someone as "ugly". Everyone is both ugly and beautiful in their own way. The most handsome guy can also be ugly inside (instances of being robbed or blackmailed exists). It's an individual choice to be safe and whether to share his pic is his own right. Just because I don't like the appearance of someone doesn't mean they're ugly. Yes bad apples will always be there and it's your choice to be share or not.
|Posted On Jul 11, 2019 - 08:43 AM|
So where is your full face pic RyanT?
@male_fantacy: no need to be hurt, people make decisions on thier own circumstances and we are neither to be judged nor the people who judge are credulous.
|Posted On Jul 11, 2019 - 09:21 AM|
@ryanT You seem to be living in some sheltered little cocoon unaware of the serious harassment that can be faced by people. Yes it is good that you want to be bold and are not worried about anything. That's a choice YOU made for yourself. Good for you.
But judging others or deciding what's good for them or not is fortunately not up to you. You don't know what they are going through ,So judge less and be more understanding. Your view is greatly encouraged. But mocking others choices is not okay.
|Posted On Jul 12, 2019 - 06:05 AM|
@Ryan_t....I wudnt say hurt but I'm embarassed n pity u for ur judgemental comments...."Ugly","bisexual"..Arrgh....God u hve really lost it.I hope u knw u are on a site which caters to LGBTQIA Community.who do u label urself as?i seriously need to knw.
|Posted On Jul 14, 2019 - 05:56 PM|
It takes a lot of courage and commitment to put yourself out in our country. People are not yet ready (In my humble opinion). Sexual preferences are frowned upon if they deviate from the ordinary. I hope in the coming years we grow more tolerant and respect ones sexual orientation as NORMAL.
All said and done, kudos to the Braves who are out and proud.
|Posted On Jul 14, 2019 - 06:20 PM|
Oops I seem to have brushed ppl the wrong way! Well yes, I come in the ugly category!
But my overall point is, one can't always live in fear of blackmail and hide behind a veil always. This is why everyone who label themselves has LGBTI should try and attend PRIDE March, wear a mask or sunglasses, but be out and represent.
|Posted On Jul 14, 2019 - 06:20 PM|
Sorry if I hurt folks! We are all beautiful in some way or the other, the ugly ones are the haters and homophobic folks!