Do you feel insecure because your *** size? I do.
I am mostly a lurker here and all these sexual adventures are fun to read yet I can never have the courage to indulge in something like this because I am so conscious of my *** size. I am 6’ tall and slim and have people have told me that I am quite good looking(lol, I don’t think so but whatever) but I can never dare to meet someone or download grindr to hook up because everyone is obsessed with big *** and I feel so unworthy and unlucky. I am 27 and have met only 3 guys, all of them had *** bigger and thicker than mine. I am like 5” in length and 4” around, which is below average scientifically and that makes me very sad. I can never dare to go to gay cruising spots like Rajeshwari in Bangalore or to a gay nudist group because I am so ashamed of my size. Even the three guys that I met, I couldn’t finish *** with them because I was so depressed looking at the size difference and felt somewhat inferior. I lack serious self confidence because of this which makes me think that I am missing out on a lot of gay adventures. I wish I could be an extrovert but I just can’t. Even if I like a guy and want to talk with him, I immediately think of my *** size and how disappointing it could be to him and i never take it forward. Even though gay *** is legalised in India now, I can never express myself whole-heartedly.
Does anyone share this feeling or am I the only one?
P.S. I know my post maybe unrealated as it is not a cruising spot post but I felt like sharing my thoughts as most people seem to be nice here and of course I can’t talk about this with my friends or family, that would be embarrassing.
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|Displaying 51 to 89 of 89 comments.|
|Previous comments: 1 2 |
|Posted On Jan 7, 2019 - 09:46 AM|
Wow! This blew up and I am quite overwhelmed by the responses.
I will quickly address a few points
1. My small *** problem has got nothing to do with my position as a top or bottom. I don’t have a small *** kink where I enjoy being humiliated by bigger guys. It’s more of a personal problem.
2. I don’t feel like a woman so the whole concept of being sissy and acting submissive because I have a small *** is invalid in my case.
3. Most of you are mentioning that average is 5-7, well that’s a range. If I was 7, I wouldn’t be posting here. My measurements are way below average(5x4) and that’s what bugs me. I would be fine if I was at least average.
4. I agree that performance and stamina are important but *** can be altogether different and in most cases better with a bigger ***. I am no just saying this but I have read this on a lot of gay and women sexual health blogs. That’s *** depresses me that I can’t be good enough for my partner.
5. I also want to thank everybody who assured me to not worry. I appreciate your kind words. I am going to have a hard time getting over this problem which doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon.
6. The talk of big *** is so prominent. Media praises big *** like superior(big *** energy etc) and labels guys with small *** as loser/evil or someone who is compensating for his small *** by buying lavish cars or being loud(Trump). I am so sick of it.
|Posted On Jan 7, 2019 - 09:50 AM|
If u stop seeing *** films u never be found insecure from yr **** size.
|Posted On Jan 7, 2019 - 02:27 PM|
Firstly, when a doctor insets a 2.5-3 inch long finger in a male patient's rectum, he can easily touch the prostate which is the male g spot. So 5 inch is big enough to give a gay man *** pleasure.
But as you're adamant about considering your size as a shortcoming, then let's face the fact that we all have shortcomings. None of us are perfect. Just like you're worried about your *** size, I kinda feel down because I'm chubby. There are men who are depressed because of their height, baldness, complexion and the list goes on. All of these make us think that we're inferior because the media has already built up a stereotypical handsome male image in our mind. But believe me, most of us are imperfect. And those little imperfections make us ourselves. Now you may argue that most of the guys, we see online, are handsome. But it's actually because we, the imperfect guys, generally don't feel confident enough to share our photos. That's why you don't see us...
I don't know you even a little bit. I don't know whether you're married or not, whether you're planning to end up with a man of a woman, but whatever you want to do, you'll find people with different choices. There are people who'll give more priority to finding a better person than finding someone with big ***. And even if it come to the point where *** size is the only choosing criteria, there are people (like me) who will go for someone like you than someone with a huge one because it'll give the same pleasure with less pain... 😜
And if I can end with a suggestion, then I'll urge you to please stop assuming and face your fear. I'm saying this with my own experience. It's still scary like hell when I make a plan to meet someone. But it is what has given me confidence... All the best to you... 👍🏻👍🏻
|Posted On Jan 7, 2019 - 06:57 PM|
@coolbisu91, well said. Initially n still I have crush on Tall men, say above 6 ft. Since I'm 177 cm tall I preferred men who are taller than me and had an imagination that taller men have bigger d**ks. But after reading the posts here it is very clear that size doesn't matter. What I feel is the comfortability and the mutual liking matter more that can overshadow the perfections...
|Posted On Jan 8, 2019 - 12:53 PM|
Dont feel insecure. Its like a great car like a Audi. It is obviously good to have one. People will like someone to have a nice car. But it doesn't mean it isnt ok if you dont have one.
|Posted On Jan 13, 2019 - 07:35 PM|
i have worked with smaller and bigger size and as bottom i just want my partner to have fun. size matters if you are doing it just like robot. i personally dont think its that big of deal as am not not asking guys there size before going down on my knees
|Posted On Jan 15, 2019 - 10:19 AM|
Dear mate, size does not matter when it comes to enjoyment.
You need to have desire to enjoy and proper ***. Based on your post, I could say that mine is still smaller than you (as per dimensions you have given) . I enjoyed with both male and female. Both vaginal *** and *** ***. So don't worry about size.
|Posted On Jan 19, 2019 - 04:25 PM|
Don't worry bro. I have a one inch ***. It's the tiniest on earth. I have become a sissy. Start wearing a panty. You will love it. Because our *** is small. We have to accept the reality and become a sissy. Try it
|Posted On Feb 13, 2019 - 05:58 AM|
But if you have a bigger package it does give a certain amount of confidence. I am always worried that I won't be big enough to satisfy. I always get scared on that fact. Its just the way it is.
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 02:03 AM|
@king very valid point. Self confidence plays a major role in this. With what you're packing there, I wouldn't bother much! Again it's a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it shouldn't matter!
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 02:06 AM|
@Stopgap Yeah working on the "Not being bothered" part. Its just as you said a case of mind. And I am not someone to gain confidence that easily. I am not saying that I am going to go out of my way to look for ways to get bigger, its just, it might take time for me to get used to the "Shouldn't matter" point. Idk if that made any sense in what I said.
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 05:28 AM|
@kingofdesires Couldn’t agree more with you. *** comes later but I find it difficult to accept my *** size, be confident about it and live my life. I have struggled with this thought ever since I measured myself as a teen and realised that I am not packing much. I am 27 now and even today I think about my poor *** size at least five times a day. I am so conscious about it. When I see other guys who are confident, I imagine them to be packing a lot down there. I feel like I would be so much more confident if I was at least 6”. Ever since I saw their guys’ *** in real life and how tiny mine looked compared to them, my *** drive has crawled under a rock and I am overwhelmed with shame. Even if I like someone now, I am 100% certain that I’ll be again the smaller one. I’ve had suicidal thoughts because of my small ***. I hate looking at it. I hate that it’s such a disappointment. I wish there was a way to make it bigger or I wish I could just get rid of it. But sadly, I’ll have to live with this useless unattractive piece of meat between my legs.
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 05:34 AM|
@Tallandbrown Agree with you 100%. You just like wrote what I couldnt put in words. Somehow we are not that blessed and we can't do anything about it. Except for your suicidal tendencies(which Idk is true or being sarcastic) I am agreeing with what you said on a personal level. My *** drive has gone too. Cuz I have seen many bottom who are like a huge lot bigger and thicker than me. While I am stuck with a small one. Can't be confident at all.
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 06:00 AM|
@kingofdesires What sucks more is that there is no safer way yet to increase *** size. Pills and oils don’t help. The surgical operation is temporary and only gives like an inch in length. Girls are so lucky that they can get implants and have any size of breasts they want. We are just stuck with our toddler ***.
And I am being honest about suicidal thoughts. This was right after I met those guys back in 2015. I was severely depressed, hated my body with passion, couldn’t stand the sight of my ***, hated my life. It was like I have this crippled *** and I can’t do anything about it because I have never experienced the kind of shame when I saw those guys *** in real life. I haven’t been with anyone ever since because I feel like my “shortcoming” make me undeserving of a partner. Then last year, my eyes somehow wandered to the guy peeing next to me at PVR(the urinal didn’t have a divider) and his flaccid size was bigger that mine hard. Depression struck me again and I got into cutting myself. I don’t do that anymore but the depressed thoughts never left me.
Sometimes I wonder if having born with a small *** is nature’s way of weeding out the weaker male.
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 06:11 AM|
@Tallandbrown Well you don't have to go through it. If you want you can talk. There are some people out there who are in the same position as you. I am one of them. I hate my tool as it was small. As you said I was in the same scenario. I was in Ghatkopar urinal besides the station and I saw a guy's flaccid *** was bigger than my *** hard. I was too depressed as well. But I moved on. I mean if its meant to be like that then so be it. Can't do anything about it as you said. I am not going to go out of my way to eat pills cuz I have read it has severe side effects. Not gonna do surgery just so that I can have a bigger tool. I mean if someone wants to be with me regardless of the size then that would be great right. So might as well go out of your way to find that person instead of doing something else.
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 06:40 AM|
@kingpfdesires even if I find someone who is okay with my size, I’ll always feel like i am not enough for the person. I will feel selfish that I am limiting the person’s experience and pleasure due to my size. I don’t think I’ll get surgeries or take pills too but I also don’t think I can ever be in a healthy sexual relationship.
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 06:48 AM|
@Tallandbrown I think whenever you find someone who's okay with size then you don't have to feel selfish. He choose you regardless of the size. Then at that time I believe its okay to let go. But as far as the person's experience and pleasure goes, I think you and feel the same thing on a personal level. I understand your very well.
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 08:31 AM|
Damn I didn't realise tops were so conscious about their *** Size. Honestly I think you both are placing more weightage on your sizes than most bottoms would care to.
One important tip, don't take yourselves too seriously. If you do, others around you will take it seriously too. I'm a chubby guy, and I've never really had extreme shame about my body.
I've had girls, guys, friends, sexual parrners making comments about my chubb. I take it as a funny little comment n laugh it off or maybe if it's my friend, I just give them back a little flak about their personality or body. Just maybe laugh it off or ignore. In the end, you've got to remember, you're not going to be more hung than everybody else in your area, your town, your country etc even if you're 9 inches. There's always going to be someone bigger. No point competing.
But what's unique about you as individuals is your personality. Nobody can be a better version of YOU. So stop living with a complex. Cheer up. There's more to life than the size of your ***.
If you feel bottoms are more size conscious than women are, then maybe you could switch to tinder rather than grindr. Or maybe go for bottoms who are not into it only for the size.
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 08:40 AM|
Guys , I am just an average joe like you guys. I have had *** with a top fb for sometime now and he always wants me to top. He is good built and hot guy, top bi, and still he only wants me to top. I think it's how you make things work with you have been designed with. I asked him many times to top me, but he calls me his "alpha" .. seriously 😋!! You know that's the motivation from him. Even when someone asks me to bot, I think should I or not?? What if I can perform with what nature has designed me? So be brave, happy and enjoy what you can do!
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 09:19 AM|
@male_fantasy , @Lips4hugepoles Both of you have made a very good point. But still the point is different. Its not that easy when you're in the bed and you're a top and your bottom/partner is packing a bigger package than you. The self confidence withers down completely. We understand what you're trying to convey but its not as easy as it sounds. Its hards for guys like me to have the confidence that easily.
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 09:24 AM|
@lips4hugepoles Weight is something you can always change but that's not the same with *** size. Also your weight doesn't play a role in *** but *** does whether it is gay or straight ***. Women these days are also very vocal about small *** shaming and I know a couple of friends who would make fun of their dates small penises. Even your profile says "Looking for 9+". Good for you and you can surely have preferences but stuff like these make guys like me and probably others feel worthless. Our pool to find a reliable and honest partner is very limited.
@male_fantasy Maybe the guy is more bottom. I don't know whose *** is bigger between you two or maybe none of you care because you might be just fine. My issue and low *** esteem is because my size is below average.
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 09:29 AM|
Agreed with @Tallandbrown. Its not that easy to accept the fact. I mean hypothetically if I had a 9+ inch package I wouldn't be this depressed or feeling down. As @Lips4hugepoles said there will always be someone bigger but at least I will have some amount of self confidence. I mean just because you have a bigger package doesn't mean you will be good in bed. But at least hey I can try to work on how good I am with a bigger tool. Here I am already down because I have a small size. How can I move forward into bed and work on how good I can be in bed.
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 09:38 AM|
And its not just the self confidence part. Its how people think as well. I mean if I get into bed and he has a bigger package then he is thinking "Omg this guy has a small tool than me. He won't be able to satisfy me at all." You can read that on the face. Their expressions speaks it. It has happened. I mean as @Lips4hugepoles profile says "Looking for 9+ Inch", many (P.s and when I say many its like 90% of the people that you might meet) will say they want a bigger tool. I am not saying and I am not implying this in any manner that those people are sluts but that's how people's tendency goes. No offense to anyone here. Its in the nature of people to judge. Its hard, extremely hard as @Tallandbrown said our pool to find a reliable and honest partner is very limited.
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 10:12 AM|
Guys this is just going round in circles. What is the end point? Are you just gonna suffer with this low esteem and keep crying all day , getting depressed day after day or are you gonna just get along with it?
My guy isn't a bottom, I know him well. So buddy, the choice of your life is in your hands. You need to meet a psychiatrist to talk about your issues and get it addressed!
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 10:27 AM|
@Tallandbrown first off, i want to say that i'm sorry you feel the way you do. i do think, however, that you're not looking at this in the best way possible. i feel like you need to start by genuinely being kind to yourself. it's like you've decided that you're unloveable because systemically you've been told that only men with big *** are worthy of sexual happiness. if you've had *** with enough men, you'll know that we all struggle with things we don't like about ourselves. if you're struggling with *** size, some guy's struggling with the way he looks, another is conscious about his english, another thinks he's not worthy of love because he doesn't come from a wealthy background. you say you're good looking, what about being grateful for that? everyone feels like they're inadequate in some sense: looks, *** size, bank balance, proficiency in english. point being, you focus on the positive and move from there? why not be in spaces where you feel like you could meet men who will look beyond just measuring your *** size? rest assured, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your *** size, but you need to constantly put yourself in spaces that make you feel good. if cruising and sticking your *** out at a urinal makes you feel like *** about yourself, don't do it. it's that simple. you genuinely need to be kind to yourself and know that you are worthy, because, we all are. looking at people and judging them for the way they look and their *** size is so superficial, there are so many other ways to meet men who will like you for other aspects of your personality AND find you sexually attractive. what i'm trying to say is this: be nice to yourself. tell yourself that you are worthy. there will always be naysayers in this world: you'll always NOT be good looking enough, your *** size wont be big enough, you wont have enough money, but who cares? you need to know that despite everything, you are enough. you are loved, and you are worthy. remember that.
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 10:31 AM|
Yup. That's how I go by. I just move on. I used to get depressed a lot. But then I convinced myself and moved on. I mean its just how it is. I mean I can't do anything about it so why bother thinking about it and getting depressed. Rather make use of what I have with non-superficial, non-judgemental people.
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 10:57 AM|
hehe i think it keeps coming to what my profile says (need 9+ inches). There are a few reasons why my profile says that:
a) I am in that phase of my *** life where i want to live that fantasy. I have only *** 9+ inches but never gone *** with one. Honestly, after I get to do it 2-3 times I am pretty sure I'll go back to just above avg sized ones. Because I know 9 inch guys often find it difficult to keep it erect, and also I know I will be in terrible pain.
b) The other reason why I keep 9 inch in my profile is to dodge the overconfident feku tops lol. I am actually open to even 7. But going by my experience, I have seen a lot of tops say they are 7 or 8 inches but when I look at them nude, they are hardly 5 inches. There is a tendency for some tops to exaggerate or incorrectly measure their ***. So by saying 9 inches i am mentally prepared to even accommodate the ones who say they are 9 but in reality might be 7 :P
Now even for a *** chooser like me, *** is not everything. Until a few months ago, I was having the best *** of my life with a guy not 9 inches. His was more around the same size as your *** @kingofdesire (approx)
The other guy I recently dated was basically just for oral *** and he was 6.5 inches (in his humble view but I found it larger). But I was in love with the sessions we had because I just found him too rugged and desi types. Tall, lean, dark and very manly with rough hands. His whole persona was very commanding (not in a disrespectful way). So my point is there is much more about your body and your vibes than just *** that triggers sexuality.
I agree with @tallnbrown about weight being easy to shed. But my point was not about how tough it is to deal with the issue. My point was, don't be too harsh on yourself and don't take what others say too seriously. Surround yourself with more positive people and you will find yourself veering away from negative thoughts. Likewise, people are easily gravitated towards a person who seems content and happy with himself. There is more to *** than *** size and there is more to life than a ***. When you get old you wouldn't want to look back and think damn why did I spend the prime of my life thinking about bottoms who were more hung than me. I know its easier said than done but its definitely not more difficult than trying to increase your *** size. Rather invest your time in something you can help rather than spending time in something u cant help.
@kingofdesire56 & @#male_fantasy - u both guys have really good sized penises. I've rarely dated tops with *** that would dwarf yours. So kingofdesire, if you are often bumping into bottoms with a bigger *** then u probably have bad luck.
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 11:04 AM|
And oh @kingofdesire & @tallbrown - I'm not 100% sure about whether this will work or not - but I have one contact who tries everything to increase his *** size although he is anyway over 8 inches :/
One day he sent me a video of him jerking off and his *** was looking engorged and really massive than in the previous videos he had sent me. So he said it was a *** pump he used just before sending me that video. And he is not too rich. So I am guessing its not expensive and I think it could probably help you guys too. It's a temporary thing though. But maybe you might get a few compliments for a rock solid *** and feel good :)
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 11:07 AM|
So in my case no, mine is a tiny one and I like it that way as it makes me admire my partner a lot more when I'm with them. Being a bottom, I've grown to having a desire of feeling feminine when with a partner in bed (otherwise I'm not effeminate type). For this, the tiny tool of mine makes me feel more special, I don't even tend to compare mine with the partner.
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 11:13 AM|
@Lips4hugepoles Your comment did make my day. About your strategy in finding out the overexaggeration of top guys and their size. Thanks for that. And no I am not into making it bigger with any artificial method. Don't wanna go to the doc and telling him "I tried to make my *** bigger and now I have a problem"
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 12:07 PM|
also, going by some of the supposed comments on here, i really think you don't need to take advice from people who turn the discussion back to themselves and their fascination for big ***. its like, if i went on and on about only wanting a guy with a ridiculously muscular body after a guy talks about his low self esteem caused by weight issues. i mean, really you guys, talk about being insensitive.
my advice: stop engaging with men who treat *** like it's some kind of competition. there is no rule book in the world that says that bottoms have *** like (A) and tops have *** like (B). *** is idealized fantasy, nothing about it reflects real life, you need to know that. this whole notion of comparing *** sizes and feeling bad about a bottom having a bigger *** than you is unnecessary. sexual roles aren't based on these things, they are based on what makes you happiest and fulfills you the most. by that hypotheses, you can have *** with a bottom with a big *** and a top with an average/small ***. the point is to be honest and communicate in your sexual transactions and find partners who do the same. that can only start by you finding happiness in your body and mind, because it's what you have and it's what makes you special. if you're trying to tell me that only men with big sized *** are out there having ***, i can assure you, you have not had enough *** :)
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 12:10 PM|
regarding feeling worthless, i think it would help you a lot to find a therapist and talk through your issues. i've struggled with bouts of anxiety and depression for many years and talking to therapists and friends helped me a lot.
|Posted On Feb 14, 2019 - 04:31 PM|
I just happened to read some of the comments on this forum from those disappointed with the size of their *** and it almost broke my heart to learn of the suicidal tendencies that "improper" size can lead to. My response below may give rise to some unsolicited debates, but that's not my intention. Be that as it may, I firmly believe that just like all other muscles of the human body, even man's favorite muscle can be worked on and made to grow. My *** was of average size at 5.5, and now is still of average size, although at 6". I managed to extend length and girth because I refused to believe that nothing can be done about these matters. I'm not sure that the remedy I suggest may work for everyone; it is a combination of daily massage with coconut oil and a herbal pill (I think any good natural oil should work - like mustard oil or even groundnut oil). Massage everyday for 5 minutes without fail, even if it takes over a year or two for you to see results. Do not give up. Massage downwards from the base of your *** to the tip (resist the urge to ***, because regular masturbation beyond a certain age leads to weakness in body and also of the penile muscles). The pill I was taking may be expensive, in which case look for good Indian alternatives. I took VigRx for two or three years. I'm sure there are good Ayurvedic alternatives available in India. Please note that as far as the pills go, what works for one person may not work for another. But the massage is bound to work provided you have the patience and will. Another important factor is a combination of diet and exercise. Go easy on the carbs and stress on protein, even if it's plant based. As for exercise, there are numerous home designed exercises on YouTube if you're not inclined to join a gym. And add to your exercises some good stretches or yoga asanas that strengthen your glutes and hamstrings. May I add here that a masseur that I used to have over at my place once remarked that most of his clients with big *** were bottoms, some exceeding 7 inches in *** size. So take heart my dear young men, and do not despair. It takes more than mere *** size to satisfy your partner in bed. Unless you aim to be a *** star, size does not matter. If you're top, you can use all your lovemaking skills like plenty of kissing, caressing, nipple *** and supplement your lack of size by using a dildo or a vibrator.
|Posted On Feb 16, 2019 - 11:11 AM|
Well ... mine is like around 4.8" Hard and just 2" when soft .... And I used to feel the same ... But then I overcame it .
The thing is, people fall in love with personality and never with *** size .. the physical contact is just an extension of admiration a person has for other person , not the other way around .
So cheer up and enjoy your life !
|Posted On Feb 18, 2019 - 07:14 PM|
I have a partner where his *** size is larger than mine and his *** has more width than mine.
Twist here is, he is my bottom and I am his top.
Though my *** is small, I used to *** him in all the angles and he used to enjoy it.
In my opinion size does not matter if you get proper erections and it can get inserted into hole.
And size does not decide your sexual position as well (top or bottom).
So forget it and enjoy..
|Posted On Mar 3, 2019 - 02:16 AM|
I am chubby weighing 105 kgs and 44 waist with big boobs but my *** is very small it's just 2" flaccid and 4" erect but I am top. I feel very much insecure so I choose only bottom who are Virgin and help them break their virginity as they feel very much comfortable with my size as they are Virgin. Virgin won't prefer large *** as it pains a lot.
|Posted On Mar 3, 2019 - 04:44 PM|
This one is a wonderful post. I am conscious about everytjing about myself
My skin colour, the fact that i m very hairy, a bald.head . My height , the way I talk and finally my 6 " ***
And some times i became so conscious during *** that i lost my *** . Had a wonderful partner like u guys here who took my disaster upon himself .
I owe a lot to gay world.
|Posted On Mar 7, 2019 - 11:03 AM|
Have any one here used bathmate? Is it effective.
|Posted On Mar 7, 2019 - 01:47 PM|
What's a bathmate?
|Previous comments: 1 2 |