Moral dilemma of having *** with married guys

What do you think if a single guy or guy in open relationship, has casual *** with married men is it wrong or right?

Not that I only search for married guys, but i do come across some genuinely good guys, with prospect of excellent sexual chemistry.

In my mind there are various points for for both for and against, yet I am never able to decide.

POINTS FOR HAVING *** WITH MARRIED GUYS

1. Other person is an adult and I am not responsible for their life choices

2. Not every person, especially in India and slightly older generation has or has the opportunity to explore and express their sexual identity, before they got married.

3. It is just casual ***, like a good game of tennis. I have zero interest in a relationship with them, beyond good ***.

POINTS AGAINST HAVING *** WITH MARRIED GUYS

1. In India rarely husband and wife, are in an actual open relationship. Hence it is not fair to that lady.

2. If this gets known to that lady, it would cause hurt and in a way blame lies with me as well for that hurt

3. My providing easy access to casual ***, I am helping prolonging a lie

These are the thoughts in my head. I know it is an emotionally charged topic, and bound to bring up strong memories and conflicting feelings.

Yet I am sure each one of us has been at the either end of the equation, one time or the other.

What do you guys think and how do you decide?

I would love to have genuine and candid insights, from both single and married guys.

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Displaying 1 to 48 of 48 comments.
No Picture Pinkpanther2025	Posted On Mar 23, 2025 🥱
No Picture cindrella_c	Posted On Mar 23, 2025 im single. slept with many married men. they won't stop having *** just because i avoid them. better let me be also enjoy. it is a mutual pleasure anyway.
No Picture NiceGuyFromChn	Posted On Mar 23, 2025 I'm married, and I've had *** with many guys both married and single.. as long as I'm comfortable and doing it with safety and discreetly, there is no problem. But many single guys avoid married guys like me, due to the above mentioned reasons... They can feel guilty to have *** with students or minor guys, but why to avoid married guys? We too have the same feelings as you.. if both of us like each other, what's the problem of having some nice time?
No Picture BangalorePasion	Posted On Mar 23, 2025 Forget everyone else... we cannot justify our actions based on others. If you feel comfortable being a homewrecker, fine. If not, get out of there. Key difference is if you are getting paid for the service - if yes, it is a service. If not, it is purely for mental connection, kinda wrong depending upon what one thinks of being a third wheel. Remember, every interaction will leave an impression
No Picture Adhan	Posted On Mar 23, 2025 If you want to do it just for the ***, knock yourself out. If you want to do it just for the boyfriend privileges, again have at it. If your just curious, go for it. Now here's the other side to your temporary moment of bliss or what have you. You must know in a lot of married men in this will not leave their wives. Because she makes life easier, normal and they may have a lot more to lose than you. So do know that you'll be 2nd to his needs. He may legitimately like you and like being with you, but you may not be worth losing a marriage, money, children, and his all round community. This type of guy is selfish. His mental and physical needs are being met with little to none give on his part. All he has to do is not get caught.
fifty	Posted On Mar 23, 2025 The married men I have come across were looking for gay guys because their wives wont ***. So they were looking for a *** to get *** and maybe an *** to f***. But they wont kiss or caress me. Basically straight guys looking for oral and /or *** ***. I am not just a *** or ***. So I say no to such guys. Another reason for me is I need to have some emotional connect with the guy to have *** with him. And I dont want to burden a married guy with it.
No Picture Sandeephard *	Posted On Mar 23, 2025 When I was younger, a married stud wanted to be in a relationship with me, I chickened out because of the guilt of being a home wreaker. But today, I know how *** up our society is, and how unfair is it that some men stay stranded in heterosexual marriages. Casual *** should most definitely be allowed, relationships are where it gets tricky. Couple of other questions we also need to ponder over are: Should a gay/bisexual/pansexual/sapio/trans man, who gets married because of familial or social reasons NEVER EVER have *** or intimate moments of his liking, post marrige? If no, then isn't that mental torture? What if a man realises he's not heterosexual post-marriage? And most importantly DOES THIS INDIAN SOCIETY FEEL THE SAME GUILT WHEN IT FORCES A SIZEABLE CHUNK OF ITS POPULATION IN THE CLOSET? GENERATION AFTER GENERATION. DO INDIAN POLITICIANS FEEL THAT GUILT FOR NOT GIVING US OUR RIGHTS? If a man is forced into a marriage because the society is homophobic, isn't the society a home-wreaker too? Isn't it also a torturer? Let's not be so hard on our community. It's already not easy to be us. Do whatever you like but I would suggest easing on the shaming or guilt-tripping.
No Picture Sandeephard *	Posted On Mar 23, 2025 *homewrecker
No Picture CheekyBubbleboi	Posted On Mar 24, 2025 I don't feel anything about it. It doesn't matter is my partner is married or single. I'm a bottom and I prefer to have *** with married men as they are more experienced and understanding. If you feel having *** with married men is wrong, then having gay *** in the first place should feel wrong. Nobody is forcing anybody to have gay *** it is their decision solely. Moreover, most married men are either bisexual so they love their wives too no doubt about it or they are straight and love their wives but need to experience *** *** or love *** *** or their wives don't allow *** *** with them so look for bottom men.
No Picture Schadendreude	Posted On Mar 24, 2025 Heres my two cents on this topic. There is no dilema - moral or otherwise - if the right expectations are set before hand. One must carefully tread along the lines which are already blurred. This helps in the long run. I have been married since the last 3 years, and enjoy frequent *** - both heterosexual and homosexual. Whenever i meet someone online, expectation settings become important. wether its friendship or love or *** - i believe one can have everything one wants as long as the boundaries are defined. Problems arise when there are no boundaries defined, or one partner decides to cross the boundary. Then the moral issues arise. i find it in my experience that many a times, being in such arrangements, helps the marriage last long, and builds fruitful relationships both on the homosexual and heterosexual front. However, i would like to say - to each his own. You cannot force someone to be okay with it even if they are not. hence - the two magic words "Expectation Setting"
No Picture Anirudhbottom	Posted On Mar 24, 2025 the only issue will be when his wife knew everything and you would be main reason behind ruckus in their home i remember reading a old case a gay guy was killed because of such affair by wife brother be ready to take such risks in such cases my suggestion is only do random one night stand don't meet one back to back
No Picture Girishkumar40	Posted On Mar 24, 2025 Dating a married guy is a very safe bet. They don’t bother unnecessarily. I’ve dated quite a few. Two of them were head over heels for me. I had to stop because I didn’t want to become a homewreaker.
No Picture kisserkayy	Posted On Mar 24, 2025 As long as its no strings attached, just done for *** its okay. We don't need to carry the moral weight for such flings, its on the man to make decisions. But if you're involving emotionally, I'd say you're in for heartbreak one day or the other. Married men are not going to leave their wives and family for you.
Dare2date	Posted On Mar 24, 2025 I don't see having a moral dilemma in that. If that is about *** why do we need to tag people. Let's enjoy
No Picture sumi24	Posted On Mar 24, 2025 A relationship between two consenting adults is a personal matter, and as long as both individuals fully understand the implications of their actions, they have the autonomy to make their own choices. If both parties are aware of the circumstances and willing to engage without coercion or deceit, their actions are a reflection of personal freedom and responsibility. However, ethical considerations, such as honesty, respect for commitments, and potential consequences, should always be taken into account.
No Picture Hushbb	Posted On Mar 24, 2025 But most married men dont actually openly say that theyre married upfront
No Picture vishal_kumar	Posted On Mar 24, 2025 @Hushbb - In my experience either they say it upfront (without being asked), because I think they are trying to be honest. Or it comes up when they are telling about themselves and their life.
Dare2date	Posted On Mar 24, 2025 I hardly care if they r married or not . Everyone needs love. *** is also a bond of love
No Picture Silverkok	Posted On Mar 24, 2025 I'm married for over thirty years. But as I'm a gay I want Men at least now so I am with my BF only after my wife lost interest in *** due to old age. As for my BF, he's married two months back, but he is not happy with his always-fighting new wife. She's young she's a lady, but my BF feels it comfortable with me as I love him more than his wife. He says why I'm not his "Wife". I feel good to serve him the best with anything that makes him feel hsppy, but his wife always has complaints about issues at home, affecting their bed time. If he had felt more love and care from his wife more than the love he gets from me, he would have left me by now or at the least he wouldn't have given me so much love even after his marriage. So I say it depends how married men have relationships with their wives. When you talk about heterosexual couples you'll see lots of divorces due to disputes between wife husband. So whom to blame there? It's the relationship itself which makes a man compelling either to divorce or to sleep with a male partner who loves him more and gives you more comfort than his wife does
No Picture noman2024 *	Posted On Mar 25, 2025 Bang on @Adhan 99% of the married men wouldn't leave their wives. They just need a 2nd wife to play out their fantasies without any commitment. btw, I am in that 99%. @silverkok As long it is NSA both will have fun and enjoy. But as soon as you get into commitment, it doesn't matter whether it is man or a woman, the problems are the same. Choose wisely, and be safe physically as well as emotionally. Be clear on your needs.
No Picture Crossyanamika22	Posted On Mar 25, 2025 Tho i havent shared a bed with any guy yet but still i think married guys are better - 1.As they are married so they would be more concerned over privacy than anyone else unlike the young desperate guys 2.almost every time married one is older (30-35+) and i love aged man But i also agree with some comments like -1. Married man mostly wants short term stuff 2. They usually loook for btms as their wives dont let them do *** *** or blowjobs are not available so yeah its a mixed reaction
No Picture Makeoffun	Posted On Mar 25, 2025 Married guy or unmarried not a problems.. Mostly in gay relationship first question asked Do you ***.. Behind this question that guy doesn't have a good *** wife 😄😄😄😄..
No Picture Chubbynave	Posted On Mar 25, 2025 I've had *** with few married guys. Mostly it was one time thing so I didn't care much. But with one I had for few months. He said he didn't like his wife much as he did me. So he did try many things with me. Played me like a doll in bed. Few times later he said he liked me so much and wanted to be with him always. But one time wen v vr in hotel, I saw his phone wallpaper of his kids. I felt really really bad. I told him that this shouldn't happen anymore. We talked for some time and mutually agreed. He wanted to do one last time and that last time he had his way with my body. He came three time that night. Then next we didn't meet. I even deleted his number. I felt I did the right thing.
No Picture Roselin	Posted On Mar 25, 2025 I love married men. They are matured, safe , wild and have fantasies to do all dirty stuffs ;-) Personally it doesn’t matter
No Picture dingdong	Posted On Mar 25, 2025 Yes, it has both good and bad side of it... 1. Its fine as long as you are not getting into a relationship which might spoil married guys life.. 2. If you dont meet married guys due to guilty feel, they would still be meeting others.. so no need to have any guilty feel.. 3. as some one mentioned, its like a game.. to have some pleasure as we want.. so its fine in a way if its not affecting personal life and health...
No Picture Shivaprakash	Posted On Mar 25, 2025 Married unmarried divorced morality immorality is all just an imagination and a thought in mind nothing is physical or tangible it’s just a mind game in the end all dies all bodies either decompose or turns ash everybody either moral or immoral has pains and gains. Earth provides food shelter and all services to all categories equally. These concepts were given divine sanction in various epics to form a structure of family and society and to avoid being like animals in the end such a system and structure has its pros and cons. Nothing is absolute and divine the institution of marriage is a socio legal contract signed between 2 individuals and could be cancelled it’s purely artificial and superficial but a new a natural and deep relationship of mother and child arises from such a artificial relationship. Even that’s neither same for all nor same for one at all the time, so nothing is absolute just enjoy what life throws upon us and dance this life and vacate easily. I dono if am correct
No Picture SHANTANUnu	Posted On Mar 25, 2025 Vishal_ kumar I wants to ask u,why this topic is arise in ur mind? Plz do share Do u have any kind of mental dilema
No Picture Topintown	Posted On Mar 25, 2025 The more I read this thread the more I realize how easy is more men to support other men in cheating without any guilt. Imagine If you are in same position your wife/husband cheat on you for some fling, how would you react. If its your own daughter or someone you care about, this is also one of the major reason why bttms are seen as less of human or more of a *** object to alot of guys out there. Self respect and self esteem is a thing, no married men will ever love you, you are just easily avaliable and for free that's why they got you. I never understand how could you even face yourself after being a homewrecker of one's lie for a fling. That's disgusting and this is the major reason why lgbt community will never get respect we deserve because you'll can't keep it in your pants. How demeaning you got to be to say it's two consenting adults. Just gross and disgusting and all those married dudes I hope your wife divorce you or your kids suffer the same from your *** action
No Picture Bottombaby1369	Posted On Mar 25, 2025 I love to have *** with married person , can't find anyone,
No Picture chakojoel	Posted On Mar 26, 2025 I have had *** with many married guys and on multiple occasions no guilt whatsoever both find a reason for moments of happiness. No regrets for me married men *** u the best
fifty	Posted On Mar 26, 2025 I had stopped myself from writing this. But since the issue has been raised - if a wife decides to have *** outside marriage, will the two consenting adults principle apply there?
No Picture Str8lover	Posted On Mar 26, 2025 My question to author of this thread is, is that married men straight, bisexual or gay ? It completely depends on that If gay guy tries to seduce married straight men and make him habitual of having *** with same *** I think it’s wrong from my point of view. Vice versa Straight married men himself having *** with gay guy ( which is rarely) thn there should be not guilt for that gay guy but make sure that straight married men is not using you as they only do it with gay bottoms because of ornal pleasure, which their wife’s don’t give to them as someone mentioned about. Gay married men are themselves trapped in marriage because of society, family or some other reason So if you’re having *** with any gay married men that’s fine as long both are comfortable. Bisexual married men are real struggler as they like to have *** with both women and men and also they cannot get open as bisexual as our society is still not that open and will consider them as gay and won’t understand the difference between gay and bisexual What I personally think is we as community should start educating straight people and make things normal If you like married men that’s completely fine just don’t be home wrecker
No Picture turnip57	Posted On Mar 26, 2025 @fifty: consenting adults principle should very well apply if the wife decides to have *** with a girl/lady. I don't know how many people would agree but IMO the bottom line is that you should not look outside for something which your spouse can provide. So the morality angle should come into picture when a married man decides to have *** with another girl or a married woman decides to have *** with another man.
No Picture red_rat	Posted On Mar 26, 2025 I am married top gay. I only meet unmarried bottom gay. I dont want to cheat two women.
No Picture Kappu_k	Posted On Mar 26, 2025 Wah bhai 🤣🤣 @red_rat Mast usul he....dusro ko lady ko cheat nhi krna. Par khud ki.lady ko cheat krna hi he.👌👌💦
Jaytop *	Posted On Mar 26, 2025 I have done *** with lot of married guys, infact I like married bottom lot.
No Picture Hushbb	Posted On Mar 26, 2025 @Topintown you're so right
fifty	Posted On Mar 27, 2025 @Str8lover, your first scenario - a gay guy seducing a 'straight' married guy - If the married guy gets seduced by a gay guy, it means he is NOT straight. Sexuality is not binary or gay, bi, straight are not watertight compartments. It is a spectrum. Read about it.
No Picture MatureMumbai	Posted On Mar 27, 2025 I take this in a very simple way Why judge anyone Whether he is married or not Let all individual decide what they want and desire After all it is main that you like a person And if you do so And he is fine too Then why reject him. Just coz he is married So I would say Do not judge a guy on basis of his marital status. There are guys who are committed to their male partners but that you will not reject for meet or ***. Just my thoughts
No Picture Topintown	Posted On Mar 27, 2025 @fifty : Excatly how it is for the guys. Yes one can say it's "two consenting adults" but does that makes it oky morally. Even so in india it's nearly impossible to leave marriage especially as a women , just imagine yourself in a utopian position where gay marriages is oky and norm in society. You left your house, your surname, your parents for a man, to take care of him and jus family. Give him children raise them. Just to find out your husband was screwing someone else this entire time. Imagine that, I know my words were hard but I've met guys who cheat on there pregnant wives. Its personal because my cousin is stuck in that kind of marriage. I get it you have urges but don't you got any responsibility towards others?? It's not there mistake you are gay or bi, why punish them in the process?
Spartan25	Posted On Mar 27, 2025 You are 💯 correct ... You mentioned both pros and cons 👏. My POV is 1. If we wanna sleep with a married guy , if he also ready ,you can enjoy with safety measures .But be careful, while texting and talking with that person .don't get caught. If you get caught.it won't affect you much but their whole life will be messed up . Better avoid sexting. 2. Don't look for a relationship / any kind of emotional connection with married or committed person . It will spoil all of your peace ..that person can't be true to be anyone . He can leave you any time if his wife / gf found ur relationship and you can't even fight for it , you have to suffer alone . And also it will create very huge problem in their life , don't forget you are spoiling one innocent girl's life .. so it's better to stay away from married person . 3.Be in your limits . I have seen many examples in my life ..that's why I am saying this . Be careful,safe and enjoy...😉
No Picture Deepakkamble	Posted On Mar 27, 2025 Enjoying with married men is fun, specially crossdressers they wear their wives clothes and behave more like a slutty wife I love it
No Picture Khan1990	Posted On Mar 27, 2025 Im married man I don't have any issue *** with a married bottom or single bottom even my fantasy I want *** a married bottom infront of his wife
No Picture Sur123	Posted On Mar 28, 2025 There was one middle aged married man around who was staying away from his wife for many years. He was quite fit and healthy with a strong libido. He was literally starved of *** and I was introduced to him by a guy whom I had hooked up one night. He asked me if I would be interested in older men to which I said yes. He introduced me to this average looking older man with a big moustache, lean but muscular and having a bald head. He immediately fell in love with me as I was his 'fantasy girl'. He liked my white skin, big assets, curvy figure and my submissive feminine nature. We met a few times and he told me about how his wife was not able to fully satisfy his sexual needs like me and he wishes to marry me and make me his second wife. Although I did feel bad for his first wife, I couldn't do anything much. He enjoyed *** me all the time. He told me that he enjoys me more than his first wife. He had a fetish for white skin curvy body something which his first wife didn't have. We lived like husband and wife for about 2 yrs before he moved to his native. Now I lost his contact as the software on my old phone crashed along with all his naughty texts and our sexy pvt collections..
No Picture Puregaandu *	Posted On Mar 28, 2025 I was 19 when I moved to city and got easy access of gay world, I met 3 young tops but none could *** me only *** and *** in *** while ***. I was frustrated and wanted ***. Meanwhile I was chatting with mature top of 48yr then. He told me that I need an experienced top to loose virginity. I agreed after few days of chat and he asked me to come to his office with clean *** after closing time. I was very hesitant, scared but *** at same time. I went to his office he welcomed me and told me that whatever happens he'll open my ***, asked me to remove my clothes and push me down for ***. He fingered me for a minute which made me ***, I lost interest and wanted to leave that place but he said ab teri thodi dhili ho jayegi and forcefully made me lie on floor. I was not interested, just stayed lying hecame behind and very slowly he pushed whole 6.5 inch thickk *** in my ***, it was so painful i literally cried but he was very strong and didn't let me go or move. After some time he removed *** and applied vaseline and again pushed slowly. I requested him to do next time but he said if I leave you today you won't come back and kept stroking, he started stroking hard after 10 minutes and filled me with his ***. he told that he's married but he like boys and i satisfied his lust after so long and I can come regularly after office time. I somehow managed to get back to my room with shaky legs, painful *** dripping with *** with decision never to indulge in such action but after few days i found out myself outside of his office waiting for office closure and met him got *** again and this cycle continued for 4 years. He taught me all fun introduced me to slavery and group also. Still in contact.
No Picture Jimmyyy *	Posted On Mar 29, 2025 Well, I am pansexual person who identifies as man but attracted to all sorts of genders. I think cheating is cheating, your lovers partner might be hurt if she knows about it, if you are a person who cannot live with that guilt i suggest you to stay away from married people/ or people in serious relationships, cause guilt is not good for your mental health. This is an ideal situation. (I Things in life are not always black and white, there are always other shades. I personally have cheated on my female partners over the years since as i mentioned i am attracted to other genders guys, trans, queers, femboys, sissys etc, Also i have cheated my partners with other females, i used to feel guilt earlier but now i dont, but i have experienced one thing which is if a person is married then its best to not be in relationship with them (one night stand is another thing)
No Picture Jimmyyy *	Posted On Mar 29, 2025 (I have more to say, it got posted by mistake, i wanted to write more) Continue... In my experience Its best to not be romantically involved or even be in a casual relationships with a married person because life can get very complicated. I remember i got into casual dating with another girl, and was dating 2 women, and it got so complicated felt like i was living double life. I did leave the 2nd girl, and she was not happy about it, started throwing tantrums, its good that it was just casual and she didnt reveal anything to the girl i was serious about as she knew everything about us. (the rules/norms are same for ffm. mmf, fmf all kinds) Best is to just have fun with people, ensure safe ***, physical safety is also very important. (stay honest with the other person whom your having fun with) Again if you are a person who doesnt like cheating and feels guilt then it is best to stay away from married people, stay true to your self be a better person. :)
Heccer	Posted On Mar 29, 2025 I actually want my first time to be with a couple soo i dont see how this would be a problem there