Effeminate behaviour or mannerisms

Generally this sort of behaviour is observed in the bottom partner's. I used to have this behaviour when I was quite young. But growing up in my teenage years I used to observe straight boys for their postures and copy them. The result is that from my walk and postures you may not be able to tell at first glance. But still my hand postures or movements have not changed much.

Once a corporate trainer asked me the reason for this in a one on one session. He told me I needed to overcome this problem if I need to make it big in the corporate world. I panicked then and beat around the Bush with his question. But over the years I realised that what he said had proven to be true. I have found growth but I feel that if this was corrected, I might have been on a different trajectory.

Do other guys face such issues? How do I / we overcome this? Any thoughts about the same?

Thanks for your feedback and concern!

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Displaying 51 to 64 of 64 comments.
Previous comments: 1  2
No Picture Needfriend45	Posted On Oct 30, 2022 Laburnum. Once we cross 40 less problems in old due female inside us. Now u can go and enjoy without much problem . But if they don't respect don't go . I m in fb . Lot of unknown friends. Cautiously interact with them . I travel. In travel also even in cab sit back fear of getting attracted to drivers . All is well. Submit to god .But health problems loneliness all would come.
No Picture cindrella_c	Posted On Nov 9, 2022 im normally not like this. but i have to wear tight vest to coverup my big boobs. 34D is my cup size. when i travel alone or while meeting partners I wear bra. it gives big relief compared to tight vests. the moment i wear bra i become effeminate. many daring men approached me directly. but all these are in my personal space only. in regular life i am different.
No Picture decent_bottom23	Posted On Nov 14, 2022 @Elder51forboys My guy, you are so oblivious to your internalised queerphobia, especially towards the femme/effeminate dudes. Your entitlement and cowardice is what's disgusting. People like you are like plague to LGBT+ rights and humanity in general. You are so weak and coward that you would rather blame femme guys (the victims of worse form of hostility) for the reason behind societal norms and homophobia than to actually stand against bigots and straight guys. Secondly, you have ridiculed and dehumanised others (called them duplicates and what not) who do not fit your criteria of ideal suckable *** that it's nauseating. You are free to have sexual preference for masculine guys, but nobody gives you the right to demean others. They do not owe you boners or butthole clench. There are people who exclusively like CDs, trans-feminine individuals, flamboyant gay dudes and so on. You don't need to worry about their dating life. Figure out your own pathetic pervy self, lurking for young boys like a predator. And grow a *** pair to actually stand up for what is right instead of victim-blaming and toxic masculinity. People have negative stereotypes and homophobia because of religion, societal conditioning from ages. Not because of the camp gay dudes or transwomen. They are the ones who take the full blow of queerphobia, all the hostility and trauma onto themselves, so that lousy ungrateful men like you can *** *** and lick *** behind closed doors in anonymity. Without having to come out and face any of that. And the selective homophobia and femmephobia in some of the comments is just appalling. Y'all should be ashamed of yourself. @Elder51forboys Real men don't desire masculinity, they desire femininity and an urge to pound right ***. So, according to that neither you nor any of your lovers are real men. Smfh, you're 51, grow out of this crap already.
No Picture decent_bottom23	Posted On Nov 14, 2022 @bottomboyvicky You should never change who you are just because it offends the people around you (when in actuality you are not hurting others or yourself). Male femininity is atypical behaviour and I can assure you as a practising psychologist that not all atypical behaviour is pathological. Think of it this way, most people are right handed, but often you come across a left-handed person, it's atypical. But a normal human variation. Similarly, masculinity in females or femininity in males is a normal human variation. With the advancement of feminism across the world, masculinity in females has been normalised and you see that women who happen to be different almost wear, do or behave like.. what once was strictly male appropriate. But society has always been more critical of male gender expression and roles because of patriarchy, sexual dynamics and a lot of other factors which I can't discuss here. Bottom line is, it is ok to be a tomboy but not ok to be a sissy. Even in today's day and age. And males who are different in their gender expression (behaviour, mannerisms, interests, appearance) are often met with extreme hostile resentment, physical and verbal threats and bullying. Especially growing up. So, even in a lot of gay and bi men you will see that they equate male femininity or effeminacy with weakness, cowardice and perversion. Because, they grow up internalising those notions. And at large, society also does accept it. So, in order to live your life as a visibly queer man, as someone who's camp, flamboyant or effeminate. As a transfemme individual. One requires enormous bravery, courage and strength of character. Also, for their safety any of the forms of martial arts, because most people perceive this to be weak they are bound to attack on such individuals, 6vs1 or 10vs1. It requires enormous amount of mental stability and psychological calm. As every other day you would be called freak, chakka, gandu, hijra, mitha even by some of the pathetic lowlives within community. A lot of people realise these real facts and often choose to censor their authentic selves in order to be safe but that takes a toll on their mental health and overall well-being. It is therefore, advised to always surround yourself with supportive people and to limit any sort of negative interactions. And be your true self when there's safety and you are around people who accept you for who you are. Be it friends, family or a partner. At last I'd just type this, although I hope that you know it yourself. You're not the reason why people hate gays, you're not a defect and you certainly deserve to be loved and accepted the way you are.
No Picture Abhishekht_123	Posted On Jan 22, 2023 Yes i too had this prob.. i don't know if i have this prob. But whenever i record my video and audio of daily life. I felt like why is my body language like this..and how come people never told me including my brother.. maybe they thought I wud be hurt and didn't care abt it.
No Picture Samhot	Posted On Feb 20, 2023 I used to walk and had mannerism little femininely when I was in school. I changed my mannerism and walk but my voice is still not as manly, people still tell me I'm soft when I talk. But most straights won't be able to tell about my preference. But I'd like to change my voice to Little deeper so it sounds more manly. I'm in my mid 30s and would be getting married to a girl, i consider myself bi though i never had *** with a girl but i have got *** from their touch and if I get a look at boobs it attracts me, so I would think I'm bi.
No Picture Samhot	Posted On Feb 20, 2023 Whoever wants to change their personality can watch videos on YouTube, there are many videos that teach how to walk and behave like a masculine man. You can also use affirmations. And workout helps because it increases the testosterone which is a male harmone, your body language changes when you start lifting heavy weights and training. I have changed so much since school and college. I have many male friends and many actually like to be my friend, completely platonic of course, we hug when we meet and hangout etc. Completely normal life without any harrasment which I faced when I was little feminine when I was in school. If you take efforts, it'll change. As long as you don't stare at good looking boys no one would be able to tell.
No Picture decentbottom	Posted On Feb 21, 2023 I don't understand why should someone change their own identity... People it's high time. Let the world learn how to treat us. How long will you change for others? Don't you think you are cheating on yourself? Hiding your own identity, hiding your own self, or may be masking... Effeminate behaviour is natural, and so be it... It's high time for us to teach the society to treat us equal to anybody, with respect... We should never compromise for our dignity and self being. Right from school days, we should make our kids understand what it is and inculcate the acceptance in the upbringing... Make the world a healthy and safe place for everyone... Change should start from within... I like wearing lipbalm... Now a days I wear coloured ones too, obviously not so bright ones becoz I don't like bright colours. I used to wear lipbalm since ages, and now it has become a routine. Nobody even dares to ask me why my lips are always so glossy. They might discuss in my absence, which I don't really care. But if someone asks me, ai openly say I like putting it on. One of my good old friend got me some cosmetics from abroad, he knows I like only mild looking things, now I have started wearing it daily and again, nobody bothers me....
No Picture decentbottom	Posted On Feb 21, 2023 So stop watching videos to change yourself... Rather watch something constructive... Look at what people are successfully doing elsewhere in the world. Watch videos about how to carry ourselves. There are so many educative videos that could benifit us in many ways, it could even be monetary or even just for a time pass... I stick on to my hobbies when am stressed or have free time. I used to think the same way back, but I am transforming... So I urge all my fellow mates here to do the same... It might not be easy for everyone to do so, but never impossible. At the end of the day what really matters is you being in your own skin and living a happy life
No Picture Samhot	Posted On Feb 27, 2023 Everyone wears a mask in the society, it's not just for gays. Nothing wrong in doing or learning something that'll make your life easier.
No Picture Offline cruiser	Posted On Apr 2, 2023 Yes I also. I feel sad that with my behaviourism ppl dont call me girly but can wonder if M gay... I need some personality development class. If any one can give idea of these classes in Delhi
Roshan2020	Posted On Apr 2, 2023 @Offline cruiser: Try dr meghana dikshit 's q&a session called the 'winning window' (live program every wednesday on insta)
No Picture Ravir977555	Posted On Oct 25, 2024 Used to have such behaviour and mannerisms in private from school time. But was always Afraid to exhibit it outside.
No Picture Guy27bi	Posted On Nov 12, 2024 Many guys have talked about hiding their effeminate behaviour but it's not easy for everyone to hide it. I have seen my partners project it or be naturally effeminate even without knowing. When they speak about the discrimination they face and how they are bullied , it's a horrible experience they face. Many told me that the more they try to hide it, the more guilty and depressed they become. That's the reason many CD are closeted, they don't dress up or reveal their true effeminate behaviour in front of their partners too, because there is bias in lgbtq community too. I had written an experience about a guy being bullied in a lift for his looks and how me and others had to stop them , this isn't the only situation I have seen , there is always bias against them. Hope people start accepting who they are and be comfortable and confident. Don't worry about anyone's comment. Just live your life as you wish.
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