Siblings bond - Coming out to your family

It is easy to open up about your orientation when your brother or sister supports you.

Kya kisi ne btaya apne sibling ko apne bare me ya apni feeling express ki ho?

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Displaying 1 to 44 of 44 comments.
Adwait420	Posted On Mar 14, 2025 Kappu_k I Had *** With My Cousin In Delhi At Age Of 17 By Drinking Rum In Harsh Winter And The Good Thing Is That My Cousin Always Supports Me In Good And Bad Phases Morally,Emotionally Sometimes Mentally Also He Is Not Only My Cousin But Also Good Mentor Of Mine I Am Proud Of Him So Much And Love Him Lot
No Picture botyum	Posted On Mar 14, 2025 Yes i came out to my sister and she's been very supportive.
No Picture Nudelove1979	Posted On Mar 14, 2025 @botyum you are very lucky dear
No Picture Aseem Javed	Posted On Mar 14, 2025 Sometimes kuch na batayein to hi behtar hai. Kyu bekaar mein dhindora peetna hai abt ur sexuality. And let's get real guys. U cannot trust anyone these days. U may have only one person whom u can trust ur heart out and come out to them with confidence.
No Picture Deepakkamble	Posted On Mar 14, 2025 I have a cousin who came out as transgender, however I wish he would shared his feelings with me as I always had a crush on him, when he came out as transgender he left house and he blocked all members of the family. I miss him so much ❤️
No Picture Silverkok	Posted On Mar 14, 2025 Not siblings ofcourse but my wife and perhaps my eldest son are aware of my sexuality. My son might have known by some means like my phone few years back and wife I myself disclosed her the secret out of too much trust and loyalty towards her by written letter, when I was away from my family in Saudi Arabia and was 3 years with my colleague. My wife didn't say anything But she didn't support, rather she taunts me whenever she gets chances. Though she didn't disclose it to anyone. May be because we are parents of our children and weren't in a situation leaving each other may be due to children or other reasons that I'm not aware of.
No Picture Kind_Hearted	Posted On Mar 15, 2025 @Silverkok, that must be emotionally a very challenging situation for your wife. You must apologize to her for everything.
No Picture FunFreeVers	Posted On Mar 15, 2025 Ohh nice discussion going on. It's common to come across some encounters in family, though not with real brother, I have enjoyed gay *** with my elder cousin brother lot of times, *** fuckiing everything. I have also enjoyed gay *** with my cousin sister's son, also with my cousin brother in law and all of these incidents came from them, I just gave supporting reaction and we enjoyed freely. They don't know with whom I have done in the family other than them.
No Picture Manlymeat30	Posted On Mar 15, 2025 @funfreevers You should explain your experience in detail with ur *** with cousin sister son and cousin brother in law etc
No Picture Silverkok	Posted On Mar 15, 2025 @Kind_Hearted, before I apologise ask your bloody heartless society to come to me to apologise, who have imposed on me marriage without my consent. In fact I have changed myself from a complete gay to a bisexual just for the lady whom you are advocating for. gave her a happy life without me being happy from it not for one or two years but a solid part of my youth of 35 years without looking at a man besides her. Every person has the tendency to not tolerate rivals in marriag or partnership. But it doesn't mean that even after 35 years of marriage I still keep on killiy my sentiments for the crime I'm not guilty of? Tell me who made me gay? It's People like you and your society. Who neither give a thoughtful hearing to the sobs of a gay person, not lets him live as he wants to live himself. Your society has enslaved me throughout my life. Now at this last stage of my life when I want to go from this world with at least a happy ending, you want to snatch these last days of my happiness too? You and your cruel society are the culprits you should come to me to apologise. Not I. Otherwise go away don't hurt others when you don't know the real facts about whom you blaming. You are not kind hearted by God, actually you are the heartless, who just is passing judgements for other's actions. You are not ought to give judgment without knowing things about my life.
No Picture oh_desi_guy	Posted On Mar 15, 2025 @silverkok, dont take words of guys like that to heart. Some of us understand your pain and have lived in your shoes.
No Picture Manlymeat30	Posted On Mar 15, 2025 @silverkok I can feel your pain buddy ..you are a beautiful soul and strong personality … it’s not that easy to confess to your wife and live with the family .. it’s not just easy .. strength for u buddy ❤️ be peace and stay happy 🥰 god bless you
No Picture SureshRao *	Posted On Mar 15, 2025 not possible to disclose to our family, all might revolt & cause further issues, also society doesn't accept gay life, most educated don't understand, forget about illiterates or those in rural place in India
No Picture Akshay Kumawat	Posted On Mar 16, 2025 Why it's necessary to disclose? Just enjoy and be straight infront of others
No Picture Kappu_k	Posted On Mar 16, 2025 Kbhi kbhi batane ki jarurat nhi hoti he.....khud hi disclose ko jata he.....kuchh log apni straight personality manage nhi kr pate unka to dekh k hi pta chl jata he. Ek Barme gr se ek Bande ko mila (at public place) or mushkil ss 5 min ruka hoga uske sath.....uska behavior chikh chikh k bta rha tha k wo gay h...jabki chat krte time bola tha k wo bi curious he h khud ko straight married bta rha tha.
fifty	Posted On Mar 16, 2025 I have come out to my cousin sister and a cousin brother's wife. The sister understands. Cousin brother's wife doesnt, but she hasnt said anything to me directly. I came to know because both of them talked to each other about me.
No Picture rohitmumbai147	Posted On Mar 16, 2025 I feel so bad for @Silverkok
No Picture Aksray	Posted On Mar 16, 2025 @Silverk9k what a *** victim.card mentality. A disgrace to the LGBTQ+ community and the society at large. What is your wife's fault in your sexuality? It's you who betrayed her trust. चोरी ऊपर से सीनाजोरीl
No Picture Ranga21	Posted On Mar 16, 2025 @Aksray, you are not one to judge him or anyone. Before you judge him are you out to the society and ur family? Only Silverk knows his situation and what might help have gone through before taking the decision of getting married. There could be a lot of personal reasons. No gay is happy getting married. Atleast he still had balls to confess it to his wife. Atleast still he is being a man and doing his responsibility. So pls don't judge him or anyone here. Everyone has their own problems which makes them take decision which might not go good with others..
CluelessHubby	Posted On Mar 16, 2025 @Aksray, that agression and abuse, coming from you is hilarious! A person whose faceless profile is full of 'rather not say' responses , heaping adjectives at someone who has the guts to confess to his wife is dark humour. Whatever silverkok did and chose in his life is not a crime by any definition in India Silverkok owes no apologies to anyone, maybe an acknowledge the hurt this may cause to a person- even if the hurt wasn't avoidable in his generation and societal pressures. If you can't blow a prayer on someone's wounds, atleast don't bite them. If that *** is whiling away without a worthier use, I can feel how frustrating it is to be you. :)
CluelessHubby	Posted On Mar 16, 2025 Came out to my sibling in 2004. Speaks of my trust, faith and next-to-parents stature accorded to them. I stayed with them during my gap year after graduation, studying for various entrance exams when my first major love and heartbreak happened. During this year, I never meant anything to them- as weekends were spent with their fiancée. When I came out, They were silent over it for a Year, hoping it was a phase and that I'd become straight somehow. When I told it's not a phase but a lifetime of a reality, I was made to come out to my parents virtually at a gunpoint. I, a young adult, not financially independent yet, was made to answer weird questions publically (my sibling-in-law and their parents included in this inquisition - for me, count as public). I was thrown out of the house, paraded to a shrink, driven across to holy places to swear to live a straight life, before I decided to move out for my first posting by then. Spent all my life's first professional achievements alone. My sibling would even visit my town, but I'd learn it from my parents. I gradually forgave my parents for the lack of understanding typical of their generation and social realities. But I haven't been able to forgive my sibling , my elder, internet-aware human who had a better chance of understanding me and helping others understand me. I've cut myself off them with an 11 minute long voice note, 18 years after this incident, and our parents are aware of it. I can't hate my sibling - their limitations define our relation. I'll be there for them when my absence is not an option. But the sibling relation died. We're just children of the same parents.
No Picture Silverkok	Posted On Mar 16, 2025 @cluelesshubby, heart breaking!. I found by this thread that we are a majority in the world or say atleast in Asia, who have lived lives of mental turmoil to vast extents. This thread is full of sobs and tears really.
No Picture TurinTop	Posted On Mar 16, 2025 I’m single child, CluelessHubby, but I understand perfectly the burden you have carried. You are right, you might understand your parents, but not siblings for not accepting who you are and not what you are. These things happen everywhere, even in the modern Europe or US (e.g. tr.mp!). Unless your siblings are coming to you to apologise deeply, don’t give in. Forgiving their attitude? Over my dead body!
CluelessHubby	Posted On Mar 17, 2025 @TurinTop- The closest we ever came to an apology was when my marriage (after coming out to my wife) broke down eight years later- and my sibling simply said "This could have been handled differently." Handled- like it was HazMat. :) I only wish my nephews and nieces grow straight- NOT because I've anything against anyone's sexuality, but because no child deserves the inconsiderateness and insensitivity as displayed by my sibling. @SilverKok- Sob stories, yes, but we have the choice to create an armour, a shield of this experience for any youngster hinging upon our emotional support, ear or shoulder. Whatever doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. And at the end of it all, we enter the oven or grave (as one chooses) - all alone. The idea is to make life large and consequential - whether it's big or small.
No Picture Marcrobinson	Posted On Mar 17, 2025 Well said @cluelesshubby
No Picture Aksray	Posted On Mar 18, 2025 @cluelesshubby. That aggression is in response to the hatred @silverkok harbors against the society. It's his own weakness that he succumbed to.the whims and fancies of his so-called family. It was his weakness that he got married. His wife was clueless of his deeds till he chose to come out of his guilt of his betrayal to her. You have concerns of what he went through all his life due to his own weakness. But what his wife is going through is because of no fault of hers. It's people like you and Silverton who are hypocrites and a major reason why the LGBTQIA+ community is still viewed in the way it is. Your hatred for the society will not bring you any closer. Its people like you, him and me rhat are in the minority. Harboring hatred will never get you on the level you aspire. As far as your concern about my profile. It really doesn't matter what you think. Your thoughts don't define me. You can keep shouting. Doesn't really stick on me.
No Picture Aksray	Posted On Mar 18, 2025 @vasanth009 don't hide behind direct messages and shoot . To.answer your concerns about me being single. I've been in a 8 yrs long relationship withba swiss american when I was in the US and that became a long distance relationship when I chose to move back to India. Unfortunately long distance relationships don't last that long unless there's a clear path to being together again. Also, with so many hypocrites like yourself and the other two I mentioned in previous posts, there's not a guy I still found whom idlikento spend the remainder of my life with. Now that burden doesn't really lie on me if there's hypocrites like you who want to shoot hiding behind direct messages.
No Picture vasanth009	Posted On Mar 18, 2025 @Aksray Hello Aksray this was my question --- Good to know about your gunpoint come out! After coming out are you still single and looking for someone here? For that you feel I am a hypocrite!!! This is called heights of foolishness ! I really feel sorry for your mental ability and understanding others concern ! God should help you with your mental illness!
No Picture versbot40	Posted On Mar 18, 2025 My elder cousin used to have *** with me in my mid teenage made me wearing clothes and lingerie of my elder real sister. It kept going on for many years. Later my sister got to know that i am using her clothes and i confessed her that i like to wear female clothes and having relations with males. Initially she was shocked. And later ahe supported me by arranging me some proper sized lingerie and clothings. Also gifted me some of the make up accessories.
CluelessHubby	Posted On Mar 18, 2025 @Aksray- Cool those +!+$ of yours on fire! 🤣 let's address your rant pointwise 1) It's his own weakness that he succumbed to.the whims and fancies of his so-called family. It was his weakness that he got married. Wow, so a need for stable company, and the will to put oneself on the altar is weakness! Interesting. 2) His wife was clueless of his deeds till he chose to come out of his guilt of his betrayal to her. You mean, heterosexual couples don't have a past that they live with? Atleast, he has the guts to confess. This sounds like having a premarital past or a sexual preference is a crime. Also note- the man has gathered children- so, the *** life must have been functional, even if not rocking. (Most straight men also can't pleasure their wives.) 3) You have concerns of what he went through all his life due to his own weakness. But what his wife is going through is because of no fault of hers. Your illiteracy is your problem. See mentioned upscreen- if not an apology, an acknowledgment to her angst is a minimum gesture. Again, you're falling into the notion trap that bi men oughtn't marry or that if gay men find their mojo with a woman, should continue to be gay. 4) It's people like you and Silverton who are hypocrites and a major reason why the LGBTQIA+ community is still viewed in the way it is. What the eff you know about me? There's atleast one man on this thread who was out to his wife before marriage. And that past never mattered at that point and level of love in life. BTW, what have you done for the LGBTQIA community, apart from converting O2 to CO2? There's atleast one man in this thread who speaks to parents of rainbow kids, has led pride talks at work, has counselled families at a table about living their kids. 5) Your hatred for the society will not bring you any closer. Its people like you, him and me rhat are in the minority. Harboring hatred will never get you on the level you aspire. Can only smile at your ability to go on and on. 6) As far as your concern about my profile. It really doesn't matter what you think. Your thoughts don't define me. You can keep shouting. Doesn't really stick on me. I've been all smiles and amused all along. Hope your hot flashes end soon.
No Picture Smartboy040	Posted On Mar 19, 2025 @aksray i don't have time from my bzy schedule to write essays like cluelesshubby yeah clueless he is writing. Both cluelesshubby and silverkok r idiots of d highest cadre. And without even knowing them both I can say dat am much sucessfullbin professional life than what they r at twice my age.
No Picture vasanth009	Posted On Mar 19, 2025 CluelessHubby: Appreciated for your points! Now on Ignore such piece of *** , I just concentrate on what I want here, as someone ill minded person like him doesn't even differentiate what is good and bad. And doesn't even understand the real concern of somebody's DM shows he must need peace in his life!!! My DM (Direct message) to him was this - "Good to know about your gunpoint come out! After coming out are you still single and looking for someone here?" and for this I became a hypocrite and blaming entire community! If community is bad or reason for his fail then why he is here!!!
No Picture DelhiVisitor999	Posted On Mar 19, 2025 This was common in the West too. Gay men married women and even had kids to escape persecution and save their jobs. IT took almost two generations-- the first one pre-AIDS fighting like Stonewall rights and fighting for their right to exist. Then fighting to survive AIDS and make society care. And then the next generation fighting for equality and the right to marry. They achieved success by coming out, by showing everyone that we are their brothers, their sisters, their children, their classmates, their friends, their neighbors. That's what changed the attitude of many people-- again many people, not all. I left India 25 years ago since (a) we are behind Western evolution by 25-50 years and (b) we use our historic culture as a hindrance to not change. I came out, more openly in US then in India, married a man and we have been together for 20 years. I was aided by the local South asian LGBT groups in multiple different US cities. The key about making non culturally traditional relationships is that we can formulate our own rules. We are equal and have rights. In Indian society with its arranged marriages, there is inequality already built in. In most scenarios, the woman sacrifices and doesn't have a choice. A man has all the rights in the marriage. So, if she discovers that the man lied to everyone and married her due to family pressure even when he feels otherwise sexually, it might make her feel even inferior. No wonder that might lead to a reaction. If we are to be truthful to ourselves and not harm others, we need to say no to marrying women. I did. My mom pressured me a lot but I said no. It does help to be financially independent to be able to say no to the family. There is always the possibility that your family may cut you off. But that is why we need to make our friends who accept us as who we are. Again, especially the first generation in the West, which fought for the right to exist and survived AIDS, has a saying-- we build our own families. People came out, formed their own groups, became socially and politically active. Yes they reached out for ***. But they also reached out for companionship, friendship and their rights. There are leaders in India who do that. leaders like Ashok Kow Ravi and Prince Manvendra Singh Govil. If members here really want to be productive, reach out and find your local gay organizations, local gay bookstores, become a part of them, meet other out people (not just for ***) but for friendship for building a community. When we are stronger in numbers, we get more courage, and we can say no to societal pressure to marry someone we don't want to. I really hope that we will be able to fight and get better gay rights including hopefully the right to gay marriage in India in the next 25 years. But that would require 25-100 million gay, lesbian and bi people to come out.
No Picture Aksray	Posted On Mar 19, 2025 Hahaha.. how do I engage further whose profile name itself signifies he's @clueless @vasanth009 sometimes nature guides you in the right direction. Your DM may have been in the right intention, but if you look deeper, it could also mean the way I understood. Nevertheless, your outcry to my response reeks of how shallow you are as a person. Now There's a lot of 'your kind out there, which makes it difficult for people like me to find the right guy. Now you know why I'm still single. @Delhivisitor999 your suggestions sound great. Unfortunately my engagement with LGBT+ groups haven't given me "peace of mind" that one looks for. Anyways, I'll look into the ones you mention.
No Picture Bussywussy	Posted On Mar 20, 2025 Some posts here are disturbing. I believe all of us here are educated, and thus, mature and understanding (at least that's the expectation). The op asked a question and many have posted their experiences. I don't believe any of us have a right to judge or call out someone no matter what. We have never been in their shoes, and so, would never know or understand their circumstances or what they've been through. Some people find this medium to be a safe space use it to vent out or express themselves, what they can't do otherwise.... and then attacking them or calling them out (and being petty as to making fun of their user id), just because someone doesn't like, or agree, is, I believe, the last thing anyone expects. Like I mentioned above, we would never know their circumstances or their experiences in life or what they've been through... ("What doesn't kill us makes us strong") I, for sure, wouldn't be want to called out or attacked for expressing myself, nor do I expect anyone to understand me, but, I wouldn't want to be attacked or be made to feel low. I don't think that should be our jobs - to judge people, name calling or attacking. No one is better than anyone. After all, all of us are in the same boat one way or the other. So to each their own... if someone wants to contribute, let them. Just read the posts, and move on. (Agree or disagree, real or fake, who cares.)
No Picture DelhiBoi	Posted On Mar 20, 2025 I kind of agree with aksray. People blaming society and then justifying their deeds by comparing it with heterosexuals and hiding behind it is a sign of pathetic defence. Why? Because it is pathetic even when straight couples do it. I am all for supporting but not when others suffer because of you. I went through telling my family and friends. Not everything went smoothly but being the only male child, it's just me and my mother who r suffering right now but if u marry bcoz of this pressure, u add your partner, their families and god-forbid, your children too in this suffering. So stop justifying your cowardiness with stupid comparisons because it was YOUR decision and YOU should own it, not defend it shamelessly like this.
No Picture Bussywussy	Posted On Mar 20, 2025 Whether one chooses to come out to family or not, there's always gonna be one party who's going to be hurt. If you go with societal expectations, and marry, have a family, and so, try to please society, you're hurting yourself and maybe by extension your family and children. If you decide to stand up to societal expectations, and stick with your decision, and/or come out, not marry a girl etc., you'll be hurting your family because it means that your lineage/family tree ends with you, and your parents won't have a grandchild, because, "I'm gay, I like men, I have a/want to have a boyfriend/husband etc.", unless you opt for surrogacy. That's apart from the fact whether society or relatives bug your parents or not as to why are you're still single, not marrying, etc. It depends on choosing what's the lesser evil/hurt.
No Picture DelhiBoi	Posted On Mar 20, 2025 @Bussywyssy..I respect your opinions but when you stand upto the society, you are hurting yourself and family but even you come under pressure and marry, you hurt yourself, your family (bcoz you won't be happy), your partner and their family. In either case, you and your family suffers, why include more ppl in it?
No Picture Bussywussy	Posted On Mar 20, 2025 @DelhiBoi Apologies for my long response. It might even be that I may have misunderstood your question or missed your point entirely, however I have attempted to answer your question to the best I can. What you're pointing out makes sense logically. But things are not what they seem to be. Like I mentioned, it depends on choosing what's the lesser evil/hurt and long term prospects vs short term gains. Either way you're gonna be hurt one way or the other. Sometimes short terms look great and people get blinded and make such decisions at the cost of long-term prospects. Sometimes long-term looks great and people choose that. It depends on how you see it. One may choose to defy societal norms and be true to themselves, come out and there's absolutely nothing wrong in it. There are people who've done that in the past and there'll be people in the future who'll be doing so. But not every day will be a rainbow day, bright and sunny. There will be challenging days and situations.. breakups, lack of stability, lack of understanding, loneliness, cheating, you just name it.. Again, one may choose to go with societal norms, family traditions, culture, community etc.,, and again there's nothing wrong with that. People have done it in the past, people will do so in the future. Not everyday will be bright and sunny. One might have cravings to hookup with the same ***, some will indulge in it, thus, cheating, some will hide it from their spouse and suffer in silence, some will be honest to their spouse and suffer, or lack of understanding, loneliness, etc.. you just name it.. Whatever one chooses, whether or not there are bouquets, there's going to be brickbats. Things are not as simple as they seem, straightforward or logical... and there are no absolutes in life. There are also people are just weak and don't want to make a decision and just go with the flow... Remember that in some Western and Asian countries, same *** marriages are acceptable by law, and people can marry who they want and be happy, however, we're not there yet... maybe that's why we're having this discussion.
fifty	Posted On Mar 21, 2025 Havent we moved ahead of the norm that family lineage should be continued and all? I know a few hatero couples who dont have children, some by choice. I know many more couples who have only one or more girl child. I am 57 . I told my parents straightway that I wont marry when I was in mid thirties. I didnt give them a reason. Didnt want them to worry or think about things they may not necessarily understand. But there are may gay men who have come out to their parents and they have been accepted, though after some trouble. Very few of my relatives or colleagues asked me when I will get married and I told them too, that I wont. I dont agree with the argument that either way someone will be hurt. As I wrote earlier I am out to one of my cousin sister. I am out to an ex- colleague and a college friend. I am not yet out to my own sister or her family. I will if and when I find a gay partner. She or her family havent asked me about marriage etc. My parents must have told them about my decision and they accepted. A society keeps on changing and we as a part of the society should be contributing to that change , rather than hiding behind societal pressure and norms etc. I am not judging anyone, but only putting forth my thoughts. To each his own.
No Picture DelhiVisitor999	Posted On Mar 21, 2025 The thought about lineage is the worst.the earth is so over populated. There were one billion humans on the planet in 1900 and now here are almost 9bn. despite the technology and the Economic progress, poverty writs large because humans keep making more humans. That is what is damaging the environment. People need more hinge- air, food, housing and then more stuff. How can we be on a top of the food w b and have more population save insects and birds? I can never understand the human nature to follow societies norms when the society’s hurting everyone. And we are willing to hurt other people by not accepting who we are
CluelessHubby	Posted On Mar 21, 2025 Grateful to read some responses that show the person they are. Also amused reading responses that show the person they are. Both opinions are respected. Anyone who have been honest enough, who haven't r@ped, threatened, purchased someone for pleasure owe no explanation to anyone. OhMojo is a millpond. You're free to release floating lamps, lotuses, garbage, or use the waters to show yourself off in any way you've been conditioned to. Peace unto all.
No Picture littlecut	Posted On Mar 22, 2025 I read the thread and it looks like most people have just judged each other rather than understanding, accepting and supporting... LoL. A True society!
No Picture DelhiBoi	Posted On Mar 22, 2025 Judging someone based on their actions, choices and thinking is a human nature. Let's not make it a taboo. Someone says he raped someone and ppl defending it saying let's not judge him is stupidity. But yeah, it's good that ppl share their feelings here so that everyone can discuss and learn from other's mistakes. I think that is a good outcome from these forums.