Coming out
First of all , thanks to all the contributors here for making this forum not just about the sexual aspect of homosexuality. One thing I have noticed to be missing is that there isn't a discussion on coming out.
Coming out to my parents has been an idea I have been toying around with for sometime now but I also know that this would not welcome in my family. It would be really helpful if people can share their experiences or even any advice.
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High_spirits | Posted On Jun 29, 2018
I'm sorry Valentine but that post is in a different topic that talks about suppressing gay feelings. 'Coming out' refers to a person letting others know that they are Gay/Lesbian/ Bi,etc. Thanks for the help though. |
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CherryBlossom | Posted On Jun 29, 2018
@high spirits .. according to me coming out is not needed unless absolutely necessary. You would have read my story in the title true friendship. Men having same *** attraction not by their choice may contribute around less than two percent or may be even slightly more and rest of the men are hetero who may not have any feel towards men. They may view it as immoral or perversion and can distant themselves from us. There may also be guys who are open n willing to treat us in same way as before. It depends on individual.But in my opinion it would not be a good idea to take risk and letting close friends or relatives know about our sexual orientation. Regarding parents they are the best well wishers but again they should be in a position to understand us. Incase you wish to tell your parents for sale of staying single you can tell indirectly like not interested in marriage etc rather telling this. But if there is lot of pressure and you are also determined about your life so you can explain your situation calmly to them. Some parents are very understanding ..I have also recently read some news about a mother getting his son married to boy friend. But never ever disclose it to spouse as there would be lot of regret from her side for hiding and getting married to wrong person. My prayers and wishes for fellow gay friends to get god blessings to overcome all the challenges to odds. Good luck to you as well and hope my post is useful. |
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Exotic1234 | Posted On Jun 30, 2018
I agree with Cherry Blossom. Coming out is a personal choice and it’s not really necessary to come out until you are really sure that it’s not going to complicate your life unnecessarily. You must watch this movie “Love,Simon” where there is a beautiful dialogue on Coming Out. It’s totally your decision on when whom where why to come out and not anybody else’s business. Be sure what you are doing cause it’s a one way road once you come out most people will judge you including some of your best friends who might distance from you as they might be socially conscious would not want to be seen around you much. It might hurt your corporate career and so many will pass loose remarks behind your back or crack stupid jokes. Basically our society is not gay friendly at all. As for your parent they might not even understand exactly what you are trying to tell and may either think it’s a passing phase or that you will be alright once they get you married to a girl. Overall I think it’s a very tough road and make sure you take that route only after you have assessed it thoroughly. That said I have a huge respect for the people who have had the balls to come out and that really helps take the movement ahead. To each his own so do what makes you happy 😃 |
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Sasmathu | Posted On Jun 30, 2018
As the other members have pointed out, coming out being in India is not a good idea- just my opinion. It might make your life more complicated and miserable. Our society is not gay friendly. Infact it is largely gayignorant and homophoic. First ask what is it you are going to attain by coming out? I know life for gays especially in India is very though especially during teens where in due to hormonal changes most of us tend to exhibit little bit of feminine characters, get attracted sexually towards guys, etc. At extreme chases, boys run out of their homes, get operated and become transgenders. Infact if you think about it, this is also a violent way of coming out. But at the end what do they achieve- they lose their education, get thrown away from their family, and land up in slums with other hijras doing either begging or prostitution for livelihood. If they would have been wise, they would have delayed their coming out which would enable them family support, good education and employment. That is exactly what successful transgenders like Rose (vijay tv), Aprasara reddy, etc did. Best would be to get well educated and move to a better accepting country like france or cannada and then come out. The wise decision would be to reach to a safe place in life wherein you are highly educated, well placed, economically independent, well settled and rightly aged to manage adversity before coming out. Always remember coming out is not a confession since you haven't sinned. |
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Deepsukr | Posted On Jul 1, 2018
@Sasmathu I agree with you. Coming out in india is Social suicide ... But at the same time we can not compare with Rose and Apsara. Both of them are elite people. In fact Rose studied in the US as a boy. Then did surgery in Thailand. Apsara is way richer than what we think of. |
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Sasmathu | Posted On Jul 1, 2018
@Deepsukr The point which I am trying to make is, whether rich or poor, if ones decides to come out, better wait atleast till you complete your education, get a job and become financially independent.By that time you would also be mature enough to handle the situation. Once you have reached that stage you can decide to come out either as gay or TG. The social impact on you would be comparatively milder.
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cindrella_c * | Posted On Jul 5, 2018
Coming out is happening here and there. But not very common. Coming out can start with family alone first. I know some guys who has come out only to family. I think it depends on the family. But nextgen will surely be more comfortable in doing that. |
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Stranger_467 | Posted On Dec 19, 2021
Hi Mates,
In my experience i came out with my office colleagues..they are very close to me..we are six people..3 girls and 2 boys...one day we were in cafeteria for lunch break..our cafeteria furnished with 2 big LED Tv..377 verdict news is breaking news on the same day..one of my friend..she told.. Chee how they are doing yuck...same reaction from other friends too except one guy.. actually he asked them why you guys are giving this type of reactions..they also human..for them straight *** is yuck..and that is not our business...In my mind atleast one guy understood what is LGBTIQ..... later just enquired about LGBT with him...and asked him in message what you think about my sexuality.. and he was surprised insisting me to tell..i told him am Gay...he supported me....my friends always make comment me with girls.....with help of him i created whatsapp group with my friends and revealed my identity...so many discussions happened and my friend helped them to understand this is normal...one of my friend she always worry about me ..how u lead your life..how u tell to your family....i told her .will go with Flow... what ever happens will face it...but I won't marry girl..i don't want to spoil others life that's my stand... after revealed myself...we started to sight guys in office and when ever we go out..she will ask me this guy ok for you.. or they will show guys to sight..it will be fun....in India i don't know why marriage is that much importance...our parents thought we are born for reproduction....just go with Flow.. enjoy every moment.. create memories...😉 |
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