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Submitted by Harshid

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India : All India : All India : Married men of Ohmojo: Are you happy?

Guys, many got married due to family commitments or force or own interest etc.

Just did we ask ourselves "am I happy and satisfied?"

Also did ever get a response as " yes" completely?

Let's share our views here.

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Displaying 1 to 50 of 92 comments.
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Gayspark
Posted On Apr 30, 2018 - 05:40 AM

Hi Harshid, I don't want to be diplomatic in my answers here. To be frank I'm not Happy about all that is going on. It's just that life is always been about compromises, sacrifices and regrets. Just the percentage of these varies from time to time. Societal pressures n marriage commitments dictates us to behave in a certain way.
So you get to be a dual personality, one that everyone knows n sees n the other which is confined to you. Sometimes the duality really pains n internally u feel which side represents me the more n which side keeps you the happiest most. There is no right or wrong answer for that.
I have chosen the path to stay married n I have to deal with its issues balancing the inner me n outer me.
I always wished if I had not been married I would have been truthful to myself at least.
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bromance16
Posted On Apr 30, 2018 - 05:55 AM

@gayspark well said //Societal pressures n marriage commitments dictates us to behave in a certain way//. Very true!
I'm also not happy with the dual character but trying to balance both, however giving more importance to family these days and keep my gay life alive mostly via social media.
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coolsat
Posted On Apr 30, 2018 - 06:13 AM

@gayspark - couldn't agree with you more on this.
It is all about striking a fine balance between your priorities.
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Harshid
Posted On Apr 30, 2018 - 07:34 AM

@ spark..- you well.said...the points you quoted shows ur experience in life..

Always I do question about this duality..I want to live my life the way I wish..but nothing going as it is... But I am wondering about few people that they lead the life how they structured..anyway it's all comes from experience and maturity ..also understand the inner core meaning of sacrifice, compromise etc,
As you said we can't find an answer whether this is right or wrong. ..
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Harshid
Posted On Apr 30, 2018 - 07:36 AM

Also I can say about my view to be honest " I am not happy' the way it's structured now..
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Exotic1234
Posted On Apr 30, 2018 - 11:06 AM

This is a great question and in some ways a bit personal.
There can never be a one shoe fit all approach. A lot depends on various factors but the most important of it all is the nature and character of the spouse you marry. If you have been able to connect well with your spouse and both of you complement each other. your bonding with the spouse can be wonderful and you probably get the emotionally attached. This helps you tide thru the highs and lows of life very well. Most often the Women value emotional attachment over physical needs.
Strangely a large part of my life was all about my career and my family all this while. The times when I felt the physical same s ex drive it was all about visits to the massage parlour or identifying someone for a quick NSA relationship. Finish the business and we don’t see each other ever.
In the recent past when I started reading several experiences on OMOJO I realised there are so many people out there with whom I could have connected long back in life. I think I missed that.
I also think Gayspark has a very important viewpoint that needs to be respected. At the end of the day for someone who is married there is a tremendous pressure as this part of your life is hidden from your close social circle. You also deal with the additional guilt of being NOT 100% loyal to your spouse. Also the stress of living a dual life.
While a lot of people get married due to pressure from the parents and society, My advice to people who are planning to get married is to think very very carefully. Be prepared about what you are getting into. The younger generation of women are well exposed to social media , well read , career driven and it would not take them a long time to figure out your orientation if they are smart. If this happens it can lead to a huge public embarrassment. If you google you will find out a lot of news articles on this. I heard there are men who find the thought of a physical relationship with a woman repulsive and such men should definitely not marry. Also if your parents are understanding then make attempts to explain and come out to them. Marrying someone is a lifelong responsibility this essentially means you are committing yourself to someone for life and as you expand your family the responsibilities only keep growing.
However this is a double edged sword, I have not heard of very Happily married same s ex couples in India. Most people look for quick flings and as you get older your chances of finding someone will keep going down as the gay world is all about physical beauty , far too much of importance is given to looks over inner beauty and we can’t deny this.
Without a str8 marriage you might find yourself lonely and cut off from the society as all your str8 friends would be busy with marriage and kids. Weigh the pros and cons carefully before taking the plunge.
I can safely say there are a lot of happily married gay men in India 😊
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Omlette
Posted On Apr 30, 2018 - 11:27 AM

@coolsat....priorities will take a backseat once you will be forced by society to lead a standard defined life. I know for some people it's cheating to loved ones but this is how we have to live to accommodate ourself in the society.
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Valentine84
Posted On Apr 30, 2018 - 11:32 AM

"Happiness" is subjective.. Before marriage with bad disappointments in gay life I decided to get married. I wouldn't say my married life is all roses but it did have some happy moments.. Had it been more better I wouldn't have returned back to gay life.., but I heard from my married gay friends who have a near perfect matrimonial life also can't get rid off their gay life..

If not for the philandering nature of the gay life I would have dared to stay single or found a gay partner (Though I wouldn't have come out of the closet as I never want my parents to be disappointed about me). The happiness of being a father is unmatched which only a straight life could offer. (Don't barge on me about surrogacy and all that. A child is not a lab synthesised product but a product of love. Surrogacy came as a rescue when nature couldn't suffice).

I am happy but my happiness is haunted by my discreet gay life and the philandering associated with the gay life. So I make or spread happiness around me so as to camouflage my sorrows. Did that answer your question @Harshid ?
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Harshid
Posted On Apr 30, 2018 - 12:19 PM

@ valentine..- you said superb....at the same time u probe to ask many other questions..anyway I got the answer some how
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Harshid
Posted On Apr 30, 2018 - 12:20 PM

@exotic - I agree the points you mentioned.you just reciprocate what's in my mind.. thanks dude!!
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Valentine84
Posted On Apr 30, 2018 - 12:29 PM

@Harshid - those are the questions which I ask my ownself .. Rather than selecting a gay life and being a subject of societal discrimination.. Being cheated by a philandering gay partner.. I am happy to have a straight life as a married man.. And a happy father..

As rightly said by @exotic if you find physical attraction to woman repulsive then don't get married. But thankfully it was easier for me flip roles and I consider this duality of my life is an inherent feature of being a bisexual and I have to deal with it through out my entire life and try to seek and spread happiness in the best way possible.
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Valentine84
Posted On Apr 30, 2018 - 12:30 PM

@Harshid - those are the questions which I ask my ownself .. Rather than selecting a gay life and being a subject of societal discrimination.. Being cheated by a philandering gay partner.. I am happy to have a straight life as a married man.. And a happy father..

As rightly said by @exotic if you find physical attraction to woman repulsive then don't get married. But thankfully it was easier for me flip roles and I consider this duality of my life is an inherent feature of being a bisexual and I have to deal with it through out my entire life and try to seek and spread happiness in the best way possible.
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Sasmathu
Posted On Apr 30, 2018 - 05:07 PM

If one really has to be honest one needs to understand the difference between a gay, bi and forced bi. I guess in India 90% of married gays are forced Bis, while remaining 10% alone are true Bi's!!! Infact among married men Bis consider themselves superior to "forced bi's" and gays. Now most of you might be wondering about who are these "forced Bis". They are gays who are forced (in a way) to have *** with women after marriage. While some succeed in becoming bi's others still remain as gays. Atleast in the Indian contest why would a gay want to get married. Only for two reasons societal pressure and parenthood. I know I still haven't answered the question. But then the answer largely depends on whether you are a gay/Bi/forced Bi. BTW it also very much depends upon the partner. Infact i strongly feel "manaivi amaivathelam irraivan kudutha varam". A good women can change a gay into bi and a bad women can change a straight into gay-LOL.
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Harshid
Posted On Apr 30, 2018 - 06:33 PM

@sasmuthu - well said ..especially last line..but straight will become bitch if you don't get a proper wife...I don't think they will come to gay life
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Sasmathu
Posted On May 1, 2018 - 09:03 AM

@Bromance and @Harshid
Thanks. I knew straight men start bitching with bad wife but they also are easy targets for gays ;) I know a guy who was damn straight but got a bad wife. A gay guy who was interested in him took advantage of him. Now he is leading a dual life with a bad wife and a good gay concubine!!!!
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Exotic1234
Posted On May 1, 2018 - 10:41 AM

@sasmathu - I doubt If it works that way. May be it is an exception but not the rule. If all the men with bad wives turned to gays for support trust me 75% of the world will be dominated by gays 😁 What usually happens is a st8 guy in a bad marriage hooks up with other women on tinder or so many other places. He will never start looking at men differently just because he has a bad wife at home. S exual orientation is deep rooted in our DNA. We cannot change that overnight.
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Mahesh80
Posted On May 1, 2018 - 05:09 PM

I am nearing forty..still single. To remain single was one of the toughest decisions of my life. I had to face & am still facing pressure from my parents, relatives & the society to get married. But i didn't want to experiment & spoil? a girl's life. I just listened to my inner voice to remain single, though i have in a way become a laughing stock in the eyes of my relatives & the society. But i ve led a monogamus life with my gay partner for the last 13 yrs. I am still closeted & very rarely meet my partner. I am neither happy nor sad about this decision, but overall i always have an optimistic outlook about life.
Whether its personal or professional life, i ve gradually come to live life on my own terms, without making much fanfare. My gayness also perfectly suits me to execute some of my core life goals, that way it has become a blessing in disguise for me.
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Ragu for fun
Posted On May 1, 2018 - 06:59 PM

Not in a mood to write much here right now....just two words from me....”NOT HAPPY”
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Ragu for fun
Posted On May 1, 2018 - 07:06 PM

And as most of them have said or intend to saw....happiness in married life is not primarily based on orientation.....and awesome punch line Sasmathu
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hot_cruze_fun
Posted On May 2, 2018 - 09:58 AM

interesting comments.. any had experiences of coming out to family or spouse ....and how it went
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rogertoni22
Posted On May 3, 2018 - 07:14 AM

As long as we are able to tread both the paths without any impediment, it's k . And fortunately am able to, by god's grace.
I had my apprehensions before getting married but so far so good .Married life gives a kinda unique happiness that staying single wouldnt- esp fatherhood. ( there definitely are times when i regret being married, and that is not because of my orientation but cos of the altercation that ensues at times with my better half). And living two lives , a feigned one and a real one is really tiring and tiresome but there's no choice but to handle it carefully.
All said, when you are not attracted the least to a woman, it is not just to get married. When ur sexual life is not good post marriage, things will come tumbling down.
And moreover, me considering this gay thing for sheer recreation and to quench my physical urge helps me a lot. (Jus like having a smoke, having your fav dish outside home. enjoying it and going on...if it blossoms into friendship, nothing like that, if it doesn't, there always is a better *** in store for :):):)).
And, Yes, In my teens i was too much into partnering etc... But growing older made me pragmatic)
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Sango
Posted On May 16, 2018 - 03:58 PM

@gayspark I too agree with you, it's a commitment, initially you will get an enjoyment or anxiety, that's all, after that what to say. It may differ w.r.t. individuals and situations.
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CluelessHubby
Posted On Jul 16, 2018 - 10:33 AM

Moderators, please feel free to delete my comment if it violates your policies.

I'm on the brink. It's only my child keeping me in touch with sanity.

https://www.quora.com/Whats-something-youve-never-told-anyone/answers/86476348
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nikhpa
Posted On Jul 16, 2018 - 06:42 PM

Since the time I tied the knot, I have always considered my self to be a happily married guy. Being bi-sexual,I thought it would be very difficult to cop up in the beginning as all my experiences before wedding was with guys. I was a bit tense and afraid in the beginning, but realized that its not a big deal. Was kind of easily able to cop up and started enjoying new life and pleasure.
After all *** is not everything in life though it plays a reasonably high role. The kind of happiness and mental pleasure you get in the married life at different stages, when u first comes to know that U r about to become a father, when u become a father, when the child grows up, when he/she hugs u calling u father, playing with your kids, and so on and so forth... All these are very precious moments in every natural human being's life irrespective of gay , bi, straight or whatever orientation U have. By remaining single forever, one will miss this all...
And of course you get a trusted life partner to share everything (except your sexual inclination for guys, don't ever reveal it) and who joins u sharing your happiness as well as sadness. Life is a mix of all these. So guys, *** is not everything in life. *** is needed to quench the desires, but do not equate the entire happiness in life to the sexual pleasure.
There are a lot of straight guys going for extra marital affairs though they have a happy married life. Just look the same way about bi sexual and gay guys too. Its just like the food habit.. We can happily live with Rice, Roti, curry, idly sambar, biriyani etc. But we still get the desire to eat pizza or burger sometimes from outside secretly. If we have the money to buy it and it is available, why not go for it and get some extra pleasure to quench your appetite?? :) :) :) I just look at it that way. ...
These days, at the time when I am in the verge of entering forty, started eating a lot of pizzas :) :)
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vsun
Posted On Jul 17, 2018 - 06:00 AM

Interesting thread...
In true sense those who have understood & categorised their sexuality in a ' Bi' category ( not gay) have tough challenges to maintain / actively perform several roles in family (good husband & father)...keeping gay interest alive & stay happy is torturous most times bcoz that interest is always a secret..
For so many years -right from childhood till date I always controlled my gay interest for many years. It was at it's peak in my 20s but it almost died post marriage for solid 20 yrs. Now several internet options made many opportunities available..and back to same dilemma..but now its different approach...i am very much convinced that typical 'bi' should skillfully maintain both the interst"..unfortunately one cant share this with wife forever for the simple reason that it is just impossible for any lady or a child accept the fact that the Hus band band/ father has an interest in gay ***....i think it would take another 50 yrs fir our society ti accept this...
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Ash25
Posted On Jul 17, 2018 - 07:55 AM

What if it info gets leaked some means to wife? Surely it going to explode big way!
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CrazyCruiser
Posted On Jul 17, 2018 - 09:32 AM

The topic of the thread should be changed to WIVES OF OHMOJO MEMBERS: ARE YOU HAPPY?

It's totally not anyone's business to comment on how anyone's leading their personal lives, but what I cannot wrap my head around is the fact that married men who have *** with guys after marriage are no different than straight married men who have *** outside marriage. So let's not get your bisexuality or "ability to keep both lives separate" in the picture. You are basically *** *** or getting your *** ***, when you're wife is probably breast-feeding your new born baby. Try to imagine doing both the things in the same room and imagine how your wife would react. I think if people expect the society to evolve and accept gays, gay guys should stop marrying girls and then *** with guys later. You married gay men are no different than the same society who looks down upon the LGBT community, because in this case, your feelings and opinions don't matter, what matters is your action, and by action you have chose to marry a girl even though you're gay.

Having spewed so much of vitriol, my problem is not with gay men marrying girls, my problem is with people cheating on such a scale. There are open relationships in straight, bi or gay couples as well, and I think as long as there's basic understanding of transparency or mutual agreement, it is fine, because in that scenario, someone is not duping the other person.
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sambhog
Posted On Jul 17, 2018 - 03:08 PM

Thanks for that CrazyCruiser. For some reason, bisexuality is used as an excuse to cheat by a lot in the queer community. I don't support or follow monogamous relationships but if you are in one, it doesn't matter whether you sleep around with a man or a woman. You are cheating. Period.

Also bisexuality refers to the potential to be attracted to members of either ***. Doesn't necessarily mean you need both sexes to satisfy yourself.
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Neerv
Posted On Jul 17, 2018 - 05:23 PM

Lol... I don't know why so many gays are stereotyping bisexual guys as "Cheaters" and gays as immaculate. Bi sexual guys are the luckiest in one way that they can enjoy both type of sexual affairs fully and don't have to just pretend to their spouse partner (wife) that they are enjoying the *** with partner whereas every married gay will be pretending that they are enjoying it.
Nevertheless, if a gay, bi or straight guy gets involved in *** with another guy/woman who is not their legal partner, by definition it is "cheating". Period. If a married gay involves in affair with another guy as they get satisfaction through guys only, isn't that too clear cheating by the same definition?? Why to discriminate whether it is a Bi or gay? By the same definition, any gay (even unmarried) who gets involved in *** with another guy is also cheating, Isn't it? They are cheating the society, cheating their parents bla bla bla...
Come on guys, what is cheating here (as someone said bisexuals are heavily cheating)? Are you anyway harming anyone here? Just like your hunger and thirst which are natural feelings you need to quench, sexual desire too is one natural feeling that needs to be quenched. In case of bi sexual, they are able to satisfy it with their wife to a big extent, however as someone (@nikhpa) above rightly said with the good example of pizza, as natural human beings, they too get the desire to quench the other part of the desire they have within them. Whats wrong in it? I think 99% of the gay men here are/will get married to a woman (whether bi sexual or gay). For a few years they control their desire, concentrate on building up the family and all, but later some day, that suppressed desire gradually comes out and they try to satiate it. Its natural. Whether a gay or bi sexual, they try to do the same within the constraints they have including ensuring that none in their family come to know about it.
Unfortunately, these feelings cannot be discussed with your spouse for sure. So only option is the so called "cheating" by the immaculate guys :) :) :)

Guys, in my view, it is more dangerous and unsatisfying to suppress your feelings too much irrespective of whether you are a bi or gay,. Find the safe, suitable way to quench that feeling and enjoy life without impacting your family life. Then both you and your family will be happy. No point in sacrificing and suppressing your feeling for the sake of your family or spouse and being too much "truthful". No need to feel guilty either for such affairs as it is needed to satisfy your self. Enjoy life guys!! Don't use the word "cheating" for such things. Thats my view. Thanks for reading guys!
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Junoon
Posted On Jul 17, 2018 - 05:56 PM

Honestly, some of the comments on this thread are so repulsive. Maybe all you guys can grow a pair and allow your wives to sleep around the way u do. After all, all the rubbish examples you are giving apply to their lives as well
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CluelessHubby
Posted On Jul 17, 2018 - 06:17 PM

Major value judgments, flying thick and fast.
Cheating of Mr. X with Y should be punishable only if the law can force Mrs. Z to love Mr. X.

Is X *** Z? No.
X is finding and outlet for desires without trampling Z.

Lots of Xs and Zs remain married for the sake of x and z.

Our country punishes voluntary, unorthdox liaisons but refuses to even identify marital ***. W.o.w.
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CluelessHubby
Posted On Jul 17, 2018 - 06:19 PM

Like Junoon rightly said, what's fair for the gander should be fair for the goose and vice versa.
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AviTop28
Posted On Jul 17, 2018 - 06:50 PM

How many married men have actually thought of sharing their orientation with their wives?

Confess your darkest desires and maybe, just maybe she will understand.
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chembur
Posted On Jul 17, 2018 - 07:02 PM

I agree with comments from Neerv and crazy cruiser and clueless hubby. They are basically indicating what I wanted to convey on another forum.
Respect has to be earned than demanded from law.
No person will earn respect or be accepted if he/she continues to cheat other(s) by suppressing his/her identity ( whether LGBT or otherwise). At the cost of sounding sermonous, I wish to clarify that respect and acceptance has no correlation with being feminine or masculine Or your preferences Or orientation (obviously).

Bracing myself for attack :)
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shiva5910
Posted On Jul 18, 2018 - 05:31 AM

I am not a gay. But I shared my experiences with my wife.
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shreenisah
Posted On Jul 18, 2018 - 06:33 AM

One thing we must keep in mind is that whether you have married out of choice or pressure, you have taken the responsibility of a person in your life. You have uprooted her from her house to yours. You MUST care and respect your wife. If you cant handle it, get out.
Most bisexual guys think that they can get away with their gay escapades but remember that somewhere some time it will catch up with you. It is NOT the best of both worlds. It is far more stressful..
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nikhpa
Posted On Jul 18, 2018 - 06:45 AM

For a successful and happy married life, it is essential to hide certain aspects from your partner too and your sexual orientation happens to be one among them if you are a gay or Bi. If you are such a "harishchandra" , you should have told it before marriage it self and got that agreement with the partner rather than confessing after marriage and putting another person and family in deep state of sorrow.

OMG, I see suddenly "Morality", "conscience", "faithfulness" and "Cheating" seems to be concern for many guys here :) :) What is morality and who defines it? Do not conveniently tweak it according to one's choice and say that what as a 'gay' I am doing is moral and what the 'bisexuals' doing are immoral :) :) :) . By text book definition of morality, anyone in this forum is immoral and have absolutely no right to talk about morality or cheating as per that definition :) :) .

According to me, as long as one is not physically, mentally or socially harming or torturing anyone, he is moral and no issue of cheating.
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Ashpal72
Posted On Jul 18, 2018 - 03:03 PM

@nikhpa, & many other folks I completely agree to your view point. I am married since past 20 + years & believe me very very happily, got few kids, my wife is very happy with me & same here. I don't know why should I reveal my other sexual orientation to my family.... don't see any reason....I am loyal to my family....send time, cater to all their needs & by all I mean all....no one ever complained till date.......
You have to understand certain things -
1. Revelation about your sexual orientation has to have a reason.
2. In maximum cases reasons are provided by one self only.
3. If one cannot handle without hurting someone then don't do it.
4. *** Is not the only reason for being a bi, there are several other attributes so no single reason is to be blamed on...
5. Many a times it so happens that all things cannot be shared with your wife, one needs some other person for that sharing, now that some other person can be a guy too, again it's not necessary that every thing involved ***.
I stated my experiences so I don't think anybody is offended.
One needs skills to maintain the balance & if you are good enough in doing so then happiness will never leave....
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abcxyz89
Posted On Jul 19, 2018 - 02:05 PM

I agree with Ashpal
Even I am into happy marriage for more than 20 years.
We hide our sexual orientation for hapiness of all family members
Parents: no parent would want their child to be gay and live lonely old age. Parents have invested their whole life into us and when its our time to pay back their love, we become selfish and come out in open humiliating them
Spouse: Marriage is not only about ***. Its a wonderful emotional relationship which you cannot spoil.
Children: they are the bundle of joy. We cannot bring them up in unhappy environment.
Our ownself: At same time we have right to enjoy our sexuallity. So enjoy within limits so that everyone is happy. Do not be selfish and destroy family. After all we have to live in this society which provides our needs of food shelter clothing.
Caring for others emotions is not being coward.
It takes lot of skills and sacrifice to be a Married Bi.
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Gulfisaforever
Posted On Jul 20, 2018 - 01:03 AM

@abc
Let me tell you have full rights to choose the life u wish to lead. You are also free to blame whoever you want to. Parents family society whoever. But dont imagine your excuses will find any sane takers. According to you, you aspire to MAKE EVERYBODY HAPPY. How? By ENJOYING MAXIMUM without hurting anyone? = sleep around as much as you can without getting caught? Is that what u r trying to say? I m not into moral policing at all, but that just sounded disgusting n dirty to me what u wrote.
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Gulfisaforever
Posted On Jul 20, 2018 - 01:27 AM

Just imagine. Suppose the wives of some of these happily married bi or gay males started having affairs. Basically just started dleeping around with other men or women. How many of them would find it acceptable? I imagine them crying foul. Hamari society me yehi nhi chalta n all. To bhai, male to male *** bhi nhi chalta. Why these double standards, this hypocrisy. Just admit ur follies n be done with it. Rather than trying to come across as great martyrs of the society.
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fifty *
Posted On Jul 20, 2018 - 02:00 AM

I read a sentence : "It takes lot of skills and sacrifice to be a Married Bi." understood the skills part. But what are the sacrifices involved?

I second the views expressed by crazycruiser and Gulfisaforever.

Have come across many stories(real life) where ,married bi guys have played with the emotions of single gays, mostly bottom. They hide the fact that they are married from the boyfriend and hide the homosexuality from their wives.

I did not want to name anyone, but cant help.Found the post by abcxyz89 specially repulsive. Full of hypocrisy. Each of the point it puts forward. Its homophobic too. It has turned the meanings of the terms sacrifice and selfishness upside down.
When we are aspiring and people are fighting for a respect for homosexuals, the post underlines homosexuality as something shameful.
You could do all the things you mentioned, by being faithful to your partner but you also claim that "we have right to enjoy our sexuallity"

For me being gay is not just about sexuality, its whom I love, who I want to live with.

All these happily married bi-guys must answer the question, as to how they will feel, if their wives indulge in the same activities,which they are indulging in. Don't reply that I am keeping my wife fully satisfied so she has no reason to go out.



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Harikr
Posted On Jul 20, 2018 - 07:58 AM

LOL, I see many gays here trying to stereotype Bisexuals as lairs and cheaters. The fact that guys hide their marital status with their gay partner for *** has nothing to do with whether they are bi or gay. It is individual's nature and choice. There are a lot of pure bottom or top married gays too do the same. After all how does it matter whether the *** partner is married or not, for most of the gays who are having this affair mainly for satisfying their sexual desire? Most of the gays / Bisexuals here are to satisfy their sexual desire, find someone of T/B as required, find some place where they can involve in fun and have fun.
Being another bi-sexual happily married guy, I have never faced anything so tough in life being a bisexual. I have not and will not tell my orientation to family either. In fact I enjoy and Thank God for making me a bisexual rather than a pure gay or straight guy, so that I can enjoy both to the fullest extent in my life. And of course I do enjoy that.
Now coming to the part of morality and cheating, who defines this morality guys? There is only one life, enjoy it satisfying your desires and without hurting others. Ensure that you take all precautions to hide it from your partner.
The "moral" person who commented that the wife too can go the same way as the men, Do u allow your wife to login to a ***/gay/lesbian website like Ohmojo, read it to get the pleasure, put comments etc? So as per you, she too has the right to do what u r doing, right? Come on, Where do u draw the line???
So just keep it simple and don't make it complicated thinking too much about it! Satisfy your desire, ensure to hide it wherever required and enjoy life!
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CluelessHubby
Posted On Jul 20, 2018 - 08:56 AM

Why, Harikr, do you insinuate that women (wives esp) do not have the right to sexual freedom and self-expression like their husbands?
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Harikr
Posted On Jul 20, 2018 - 09:21 AM

@CluelessHubby , Why are U reading between the lines and giving your own interpretation to what I said? Whatever I do and get additional enjoyment, I do that after ensuring that my family is safe and fully satisfied. They will never come to know about what I am doing. I am not like those married pure gays who would not satisfy their wife and go for extra marital affair to get the sexual satisfaction, and also will question bisexual for their actions :) :) :)

If you are so much worried about your wife's rights, I have the same question to you too, Do u allow your wife to login to a ***/gay/lesbian website like Ohmojo,go to pron site and read it to get the pleasure, put comments etc? U r doing it here, right? Do u allow her to have the extra marital affair like u have with gays?
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funguy2016
Posted On Jul 20, 2018 - 10:32 AM

@Harikr i totally agree with u bro when you say "There is only one life, enjoy it satisfying your desires and without hurting others." .. *** is purely for pleasure, and when two people have it with mutual consent, itsonly goingto make both happy.. not sure why always there is so much of talk abt it... moralty orality etc..

but u also said "Do u allow your wife to login to a ***/gay/lesbian website like Ohmojo,go to pron site and read it to get the pleasure, put comments etc? U r doing it here, right? Do u allow her to have the extra marital affair like u have with gays?"

yes why not.. anyone who enjoys other men or woman after marriage, has no right to question his wife if she also indulges.. woman as every right to enjoy as well.. so let her enjoy and we also.... havingsaid that,,,, there r so many lucky couples who often engae in couple ***, bi ***, 3sum etc..its not just in p**N world, it very much happens in real world also.......so enjoy and let others enjoy
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fifty *
Posted On Jul 20, 2018 - 12:39 PM

Harikr, since you have used the term "Do u allow her ", I assume, you take it for granted that your wife is a lesser human being, she is not an equal partner in the marriage and she should be happy with whatever are your ideas of her happiness.
Coming back again, to the question of allowing : Will your wife allow you to have *** outside marriage? Or her permission is not necessary.

Do you realise what you are saying makes you an MCP.

I wonder, you might be even proud of being an MCP.
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abcxyz89
Posted On Jul 20, 2018 - 01:40 PM

Gulfisaforever and fifty are not understanding the point.
As I said we have only one life to enjoy peacefully. You can call it double standard but if you can keep everyone happy why not?.
we do not go sleeping around with everyone. Many times we have to let go many opportunities and that is what I meant by Sacrifices.
If any one, husband or wife betrays and gets caught then marriage will break. Being bi we do not expect our wife to accept our reality. Hence we do not come in open.


We are doing exactly what many gays are doing. All gays who are in closet are caring for their relations with parents uncle aunts cousins and hence they are in closet. Caring is not being coward. So why blame each other.

This post is about Are bi people happy in marriage. And answer is yes. If we are okay to pay price to keep our happiness its our choice.
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Harikr
Posted On Jul 20, 2018 - 04:20 PM

@fifty, If I read your post clearly, I understand that it is your complex (inferiority) that makes U call me MCP. I don't want to enter too much into your personal life to excavate the reason for that complex, none of my business :( :( Thats all how I look into what you are saying here.

As I have very clearly said, I do have a very happy satisfied married life and my wife too has which is obvious from the happiness that prevails in our family. For me that happiness is most important than becoming a "Harishchandra" and publicizing about my sexual orientation to the world. If I have to conceal certain aspects of my personal characteristic for that happiness, so be it. If, in your view it is because I am an MSP, I don't give a rat's *** to what U say.

Coming to the question of equality, I certainly would not allow my spouse to have an extra marital affair and I strongly believe that she would not need it too (probably unlike yours, I am not sure) as I am able to satisfy her in all aspects including in bed. For that matter, I strongly believe that I can satisfy any normal woman in the world in bed. And of course I do not and will not allow the partner to have an extra marital affair the same way as she does not allow me to have it. That is the strong establishment and bonding called family. The moment either of us come to know anything like that exists, that would be probably end of a happy family life. Now as I clearly said, the affairs I have with others, if at all I have, is done in utmost secrecy to satiate my desire which I cannot tell her and I don't want to tell either. And that is because, to me who is just a normal human being with desires and feelings, very clearly, happiness of my family is of utmost importance rather than being a "Harishchandra". So I certainly hide my Bisexual side from her and I never feel anything being wrong with it at all. And again, I know how to manage this life happily and perfectly, I don't care whatever others say about this being immoral blah... blah.... Hope I have made it very clear now. And of course, this is the case of probably 99% of the guys here about having the affair though many people just write about equality and some craps like that.....

Also , why R u not able to answer my questions and just come back with questions after question for which I am clearly giving you retort and U r conveniently avoiding the questions to you. Why are u so much prejudiced against bisexuals? We live the best life and we will continue to live it, thats none of your business to be bothered about. Don't be envious about it dude.... Stop talking against bisexual like a womanizer or a pseudo feminist. By calling me as an MSP, you have proven your self to be a "Pseudo Womanizer". :) :) :)
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BarneyMao
Posted On Jul 20, 2018 - 04:40 PM

I have never been married but have friends who have married out of pressure and the response is mixed. Some of them are enjoying their married life albeit the *** (Bottoms basically) but there are some who have just given up and carry on just for the sale of the society aka log kya kahenge.

Frankly I believe it is how you can juggle through responsibilities that come with the social institution of marriage and understanding the intrinsic nature if marriage.
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